Phan One Shots

Please Stop

So since it can't be all smut I decided to write something a bit different.. Just to warn you this does contain self harm and suicide attempts. If you are self harming please stop. I did it for years and you WILL regret it. Trust me, it isn't very pleasant seeing the words "fat" "ugly" or "useless" still carved on your skin. Please get help and stop.

Summary: After Dan confessed to Phil it doesn't go very well..or so Dan thinks. Phil was just shocked. Thinking he's been turned down Dan goes and does something he'd never thought he do again.

Angst

Warnings: Self Harm, Suicide Attempt, Angst to the point where it hurts(in the bad way)

Dans POV

Cmon Dan. You can do this. Just tell him how you feel. All you have to say is "oh hey! I don't know if you know this but I'm sorta deeply and madly in love with you." Okay it sounds harder than it should. Cmon it's only a couple of words. You can do this.

"Phil..? Can we talk..?" I say slowly. I was so fucking scared.

"Sure what's up?" He says bubbly and happy as always. Oh god.

"Well I'm kinda in love with someone.." I saw. I quickly see a flash of hurt in his eyes. I think? It was gone as soon as it came.

"Oh..who's the lucky girl?" Awkward.

"Well..uh..they're amazing. They have eyes as blue as the ocean and hair darker than night. And their name is..it's.."

"Cmon on spit it out Buh-Buh-Bill."

"His name is Philip Lester!" I say quickly. It takes him a moment to understand what I just said. His eyes go huge and he looks..disgusted..?

"Wuh-What?" He looks confused. Before he could say anything else I press my lips up against his. I've never felt happier. I was kissing my soulmate..the boy I was in love with for years..nothing could make me happier. Then I realized. He wasn't kissing back. I pulled away with tears in my eyes. Disgusted with myself.

"I..I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me! I just..Oh my god I'm so fucking stupid! I'm an idiot! Oh my god!" I was sobbing and shaking at this point. Phil still hadn't said a word. I ran into my room and closed the door. I couldn't breathe. It all hurt to much. The pain was to bad. I didn't realize I was walking until I grabbed the small black box.

I opened it to find memories..and not happy ones. It was full of blades. Really dull ones. I noticed there was a pack in their that wasn't open. I pulled it out, cutting my finger a bit by accident. What's one more cut?

I opened the package and looked at the blade closely. I put the blade to my skin and swiped. Redness started dripping out. I liked the way it looked..the way it felt. So I made more. Not thinking about how I'd have to hide it later. Suddenly I heard footsteps to my door. Must be phil. I was about to put the blades away when I heard a voice in the back of my head. Do it. Kill yourself. Nobody will care. Of course I heard another voice saying the exact opposite but it was so quiet. All I heard was ringing and it wouldn't stop. I heard to faint "Dan! DAN OPEN UP! Are you okay!?!? What's going on?! DAN!" And the banging against my door but I didn't listen.

I slid the blade vertically, deep. I was so close. I could practically taste the sweet release of death. Almost like cherries..(I'm so sorry😂) When I was about to do one more big cut the door busted open.

"FUCK DAN!" He screamed and tears were pouring down his face. He took the blades out of my hand. My vision was foggy and it felt tired.

"S'no..Itz fine. I'm fuh-fine." I said and suddenly I passed out.

I woke up with a jolt. Where am I? There's a tube in my arm.

"STOP! Stop! He's awake!" I saw doctors. Where they about to pull the plug. What's happening?

"Sir can you tell me your name?" Someone ask gently.

"Daniel James Howell? What's going on where am I?" I ask. Suddenly a man with black hair and eyes as blue as the ocean comes in.

"Dan! Oh my god I though I lost you! I love you Dan! I love you more than life it's self." He had tears streaming down his face. He went in for a kiss but I stopped him.

"Who are you?"

Should I do a part 2?