I am ME [ftm transgender boyxboy]

[7] These Things

“Sure, kid.”

Lonnie looked hurt, but Mason threw him a glance and he didn’t say anything.

Jesse stopped the car and the three of us got out, all of us bracing ourselves. Mason had heard just how bad our parents were, and I was sure this wouldn’t be pleasant for him.

I bit my lip nervously, looking at Jesse. Mason had Jesse’s hand gripped tightly in his own, and it sent a pang to my chest. I wish there was someone to hold my hand.

I shook it off and sucked in a deep breath, opening the door.

“Renee Briar Winters, is that you? Where in the Lord’s name where you young lady?!” my mother screeched, before turning the corner and seeing the three of us standing there.

She screamed, one hand going to her mouth, the other to her cross necklace.

“Laura, what's wrong?” My father’s deep voice demanded, and I heard his powerful steps seconds before I was faced with the man I hadn’t seen in nearly two months.

He stopped dead; obviously shocked at the scene he happened upon.

My family pariah of a brother and his socially inacceptable boyfriend, covered in their piercings. Chances are he didn’t even recognize me, but nonetheless, I was some random kid in his house with rings in his lips.

“Jesse,” he said through gritted teeth, as if the very name of my brother burned as he spoke it, “who are these people in my house?”

A brief look of intense pain flashed across his face, before he erased it of all emotion and spoke, “well, this one here is my boyfriend,” he drawled and pointed at Mason, who waved sheepishly, “and this,” he paused, “is your daughter.”

My dad’s eyes snapped to me and gave me a withering look of disgust. He turned to my mother.

I choked silently, tears threatening to spill from my eyes, but I bit it back.

“Laura, why is my daughter dressed like a man?!” he hissed hatefully, causing her to flinch, “What have you allowed her to do? She looks like a disgrace. I will NOT have a filthy transvestite in my home.”

Every word seemed to stab my in the chest, and Jesse looked as if he wanted to rip out my father’s throat.

“I didn’t allow this to happen, Richard,” she spit in hatred, tilting her head to glare at me, “She did it herself. I had no control over the ingrate. This was her idiotic choice. Choosing sin over goodness.”

I swallowed harshly and gave them both a droll stare, “well, if you two are done being ignorant, I’m getting my things. I’m staying at Jesse’s for spring break.”

I turned and dashed up the stairs as they both yelled after me. Jesse and Mason scrambled after me.

I burst into my room and tugged a suitcase from my closet, opening it and tossing the few male clothes I owned into it. I combed my room, collecting journals, books, art, and other prized possessions.

“Are you okay Preston?” Mason asked timidly.

No.

“Yes,” I answered, on autopilot.

“Are you sure?” Jesse asked seriously.

No.

“Yes, I'm fine.” I said dismissively, walking into my bathroom, glancing at myself briefly in the mirror.

My face was blank, completely void of emotion. But in my eyes I could see a swirling storm of pain. I shook myself off and reached into my shower, hesitating before taking my razor with me. I may be transgender, but I didn’t feel like getting jungle pits.

I zipped up my suitcase, and reached for my school bag. I tossed it over my shoulder and gripped my belongings in my hand. Jesse and Mason had looked on in silence up until this point, but now Jesse spoke up.

“You ready?”

Fuck yes. Get me out now.

“I guess.”

We stampeded down the stairs and Mason bailed first, Jesse following seconds later. I stupidly hesitated, looking back at my parents.

My mother shook with some emotion, anger or pain, I wasn’t sure. Her blond hair was in disarray around her blotchy plain face, and my father stood beside her, tall and impending, like a brick wall. His expression was cold and filled with hatred.

“You are no longer part of this family. I do not know you. I do not love you and never will. Don’t bother coming back.”

My breath swooshed out of my lungs and I was numb. I struggled to turn and leave, but I finally did. I dashed out of the door and didn’t bother with turning back. I was never going to make that mistake again. No one would stay, no one would love me. I had learned my lesson. I refused to let anyone in, not even Jesse.

Not even Lonnie?

“No,” I agreed bitterly aloud, “not even him. Never.”