Guns and Roses

TWENTY-EIGHT

As much as the atmosphere in the car isn't awkward, it isn't all that comfortable either. It's obvious that we both want to say something just neither of us do.

When the car finally stops at the familiar strip of road, I can't help but let out a relived sigh as Cameron stops the engine of the car. We both get out and swap seats and once I'm in the driver's seat, my hands on the wheel, I turn to Cameron.

"What am I doing today?" I ask and he purses his lips.

"I want you to hit three hundred miles."

My eyes bulge out of their sockets and I look at him with a surprised look, "What?" Sure, I've being doing well in everything Cameron has being throwing at me but hitting three hundred miles was basically playing with death. If I loose control of the car, we'll surely be dead. No doubt. And he's expecting me to do this with him in the car? So not only do I have to risk my own life but his, too.

I'm not prepared to do that.

"I'm not going to do that." I voice my thoughts and I see him raise an eyebrow at me.

"You've gotten the foundation Harley. From here on out, you need to push yourself. Even if it scares you."

I shake my head, chewing on my lip. "You're overestimating my ability Cameron." I tell him, finally meeting his eyes. "And I am most definitely not risking your life. If I loose control of this car, we're both screwed."

"Do you really think I would tell you to do something that I didn't think you could do? You've done everything I've told you to well and now I'm pushing your limits." He says before leaning in and my eyes widen as he stares at me intently. "Because that's what I do Harley- push your limits- because if I don't, you're never going to get the racing right. Racing isn't about being comfortable, it's about being insane. But being good at it." He leans back in his seat.

I look back at the road in front of me and I nervously drum my hands against the wheel before gingerly switching on the engine. I lick my lips and I pull onto the road, ever so slightly pressing on the gas so that we keep going faster until everything becomes a blur and all that I can focus on is the world blurring outside of my window, letting me know that I'm doing it.

When I see the curve approaching, however, I feel panic rise up inside of me and I change gears at the last minute. It's as if time freezes as the car swings along the road, my hands tightening on the wheel before I step on the gas and I straighten the car so that we're no longer sliding across the gravel and change gears again, picking up speed that I lost. I feel my face break into a smile as I feel the familiar adrenaline pumping my veins, informing me that I've done it.

I feel invincible, unbeatable and completely powerful while racing and I let out a laugh as the world whizzes by me.

When I slow the car down, I run a hand through my hair and turn to Cameron who is watching me. His eyes show me his pride and I grin widely. "I can't believe I did that," I mumble and I hear him chuckle.

I lift a trembling hand up to my face and and push my hair back before climbing out of the car. I need some air before I pass out. I lean against it and look out along the vast expanse.

I wonder if I'll ever race like Cameron; be able to walk into a race so confidently that I don't even have to pop a calming pill before that. Be so good at racing that I won't need a job to sustain me- racing can do it. I wonder if I'll ever be able to race in general.

"You alright?" Cameron asks me, rounding his side of the car to me. I cross my arms over my chest and nod, enjoying the crisp air that enters my lungs.

"Yeah."

He silently takes a stand beside me, his shoulders brushing mine ever so slightly. We both look out at the landscape before us and I purse my lips.

"Do you think I'll ever be able to race at the track?" I ask him, glancing at him to see Cameron watching me. His eyebrows knit together and his eyes slide over my features.

"Why do you do that?" He asks and I frown, feeling confused.

"Do what?"

"Underestimate yourself." He responds and I look away.

"I'm not going to give myself false hope Cameron." I retort and he shakes his head.

"You said you've being a passenger during a race. Who was the racer?" He asks and my eyes widen before I avert my gaze.

"Just a friend. Why?"

"Because you already have the understanding Harley. You pick up on my lessons quickly and you actually use your own instinct when you're behind the wheel. The issue here is that you don't think you can do it. And that's a silly idea on your behalf because you can."

I'm taken aback by his words and my eyes widen.

"You should thank your friend for teaching you what you already knew."

My heart drops. Maybe I would if he hadn't abandoned me, saying he was going to be gone for three days and then not return for the next eight years. Maybe I would if I had the courage to track him down and go find him. Maybe I would. But there's too many maybes I can't focus on because they're never going to happen. Cyrus is gone and he's not coming back.

"So yes, I definitely think that you're capable of it."

I watch as Cameron stares at me and I rack my brain for a reason as to why I feel this way towards him- the cold and stoic man in front of me- and then it hits me. It's because he cares, he actually cares about me. But he doesn't treat me like a kicked puppy because of that. He doesn't make me feel inferior because I'm terrified of the dark and it makes me freak out or because I wake up with random anxiety attacks because my emotions can never be kept in check. I like him because I like being in his arms that make me feel safe and secure which I haven't felt since Cyrus left. I like who I am around him.

I don't think twice about my actions, I don't even hesitate, as I pull Cameron by his shirt towards me and smash his lips against mine. He's frozen at first, obviously shocked, before he relaxes under my hold and snakes an arm around me. My skin lights up on fire and butterflies flutter around in my stomach before I pull away, my eyes wide and my lips tingling. We both stare at each other and I let go of his shirt.

"I'm so sorry." I apologize, shaking my head at myself. "That was abrupt and I shouldn't have done that. Shit, I'm such an id-"

I'm cut off when Cameron kisses me again, the feel of his lips on mine shutting me up. It's short and sweet and he pulls away to stare down at me. "No need to apologise." He murmurs and I smile, my eyes straying to his lips on their own accord. His lift into a smirk and when I meet his eyes, I find amusement flashing through them. That is until we both pull towards each other, as if an imaginary magnet has being placed between us, and when my back hits his car and he bites my lip, I smile. I run my hand through his hair and his hands around me tighten.

And I let myself enjoy every second of it.

Every. Damn. Second.

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