Focal Turmoil

Dr. Ziegler and I

The next morning, I woke up peacefully, getting out of my room when everyone else was awake. I looked for McCree, making my way towards the Blackwatch HQ, when I heard McCree from behind me.

"McCree, do you have a minute?" I turned to him, who strolled nonchalantly.

"Whatcha' need, Ninja," He asked, looking at his belt buckle, adjusting it. "How did things go with Angie last night?"

He winked at me, and I ignored him, continuing on to answer his question.

"I don't know what to do with her. It's like I'm just too afraid to do anything."

"You don't got any kind of moves? From what I've heard you were quite the looker, and that you still are."

I shivered as I flashbacked to my dream, imagining Dr. Ziegler on top of me, that image of her innocent blue eyes, hungrily staring down at me, like a tiger waiting to pounce.

"McCree, it's not that simple. Can't you understand? I don't know how to speak with her."

"You think I got experience with women? I'm just as clueless as you are, Ninja. And if you want hints on what Angie is, 'yer outta' luck."

I began to get frustrated because McCree wasn't being any help right now. And it's not like I can tell anyone about how I feel, the worst part being that the easiest person to talk to is the one I'm avoiding and afraid to approach right now.

Without warning, I left McCree, turning to go back to my room. I once didn't hear him stop, he just kept on going without me. Once I was at my room, I sat there, just trying to think, at all. I walked to my vanity, looking at the note she gave me, still there, and for a moment I smiled, thinking about her. Dr. Ziegler had been all that was on my mind, and then my smiled dropped, thinking about my other connection; Hanzo.

I saw that my room had some sort of balcony, so I opened the door to it, looking outside, leaning on the railing, looking at the clear blue sky. I sighed, taking it all in. On days like these, Hanzo and I would train outside with our wooden swords, giggling and laughing. I do miss times like those. Now, we're distant as ever. Not just because of what the clan made him do, but because of his unknown whereabouts. I know that isn't like him. I know my brother, that's the one thing that remains constant.

In my dream, I saw his remorse. He felt bad for what he did.

I felt a tear fall from my eye and at that point, I just took off my entire mask. I felt the breeze against my face, going into my scars partially, which burned slightly, tingling my face. I saw the landscape, where the ocean hit the rocks, the air being slightly salty.

"Nice day, isn't it?" I heard a voice say from behind me. It was Dr. Ziegler, and before even turning to see her, I could see the smile on her face.

She looked much better than yesterday, looking like her regular self. She laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, it is. I'd rather stay inside, though." I said, leaning back on the railing.

"You don't want to go for a walk or anything? Not with me?"

I heard the emphasis of the word "me", as if she knew that I had felt something towards her, whether it be romantic or friendly, she knew that I enjoyed having her around, despite my efforts to push her away. And because of this, I knew she had something towards me, and the thought of that was so frightening, but I couldn't help but smile at the fact of a relationship between us.

"Okay." I said, shrugging.

She smiled, reaching for my wrist, leading me out my door, closing it behind me. She could barely contain her joy, judging by her face, that was pink around her cheeks. I ripped my hand out of her grasp, hesitating, and her smile dropped.