Dorm 308

End

Not an ending, but somehow a closure. I wrote this years ago because I have a habit of making drafts, but I never got to finish it.

*****

"Can you tell me why you forgave me for everything I did and said to you?" Harry asked with sadness masking his face. Guilt and regret filled his eyes as he waited for my reply.

Why did I forgive him in the time he least deserved it?

"My grandmother told me that forgiveness is the key to happiness. You can't live with the regret of not forgiving people in your future. It will eat your thoughts away." I smiled at the wise words from my grandmother. I remember her exact voice whilst saying those words to me. "It was the most life changing advice she gave me. But she also told me that there are people who doesn't deserve our forgiveness." I watched Harry's expression the whole time I spoke. His eyebrows furrowed deeper and so does the frown that doesn't suit his face at all. He deserves to smile and laugh all the time.

"How will you know if they deserve it?" He asked like a little boy who doesn't know the world. Like he is asking why the sun is the center of the universe or why the earth rotates in its orbit.

"You see the goodness inside that person. Never ever count the bad things they did but count the good things they did to you. If it hurts you so bad, let it go. But if the goodness in that person outshine his or her negativity, he or she deserves it." I shrugged. "I guess its really based on the person if he or she will forgive that certain person." I added.

Despite the hurtful things and words Harry had said to me before, I forgave him.

"But why did you forgive me when I did more worse things to you than the good ones?" I didn't know what made me forgive him. I was confused with my answer the way he is. I guess love can really make you dumb, and crazy.

"I always see the goodness in you, Harry. You may not see it but I do. You're a good person with a very bad temper." I chuckled and somehow he showed a faint smile that never reached his eyes. "My grandmother also told me something."

Harry stared at me as if telling me to continue my words without telling me. He looked at me with sincerity behind his eyes. The dark night makes everything more serene and meaningful. This night, I felt different. This night, I feel brave and confident to speak out everything that is bottled up inside my mind.

"She told me to always forgive the people we love." I almost whispered but I know he can hear me. His hard expression softened as he stared at me with his enchanting forest green eyes. "I love you, Harry. Because of that, I'll always forgive you for everything you did in the past."

"Will you still forgive me in the future?" For a moment, I was crushed by him not saying those three words back. This is what I've been dreading for. This day when I finally speak my heart out but was never reciprocated. My short term confidence lost its spark and I was rendered speechless.

I feel tears well up in my eyes but I tried to shake it off and replied to his question. I held back the tears and muster up all the strength that I have left. I wanna kick myself in the gut for being so stupid and foolish. He doesn't love me back but I will still forgive him in the future because I'm sure that I love him. I wouldn't be hurting this much if I didn't. I fell in love with Harry that I will take every pain to be with him. I will wait for him to say it back, to want me the way I want him. I'm being a martyr in love that my grandmother will definitely scold me for being one.

Always find a man who will love you more than you love him.

"I will." I unstably said. Feeling my throat constrict from stopping the tears from falling down my cold cheeks.