iris . vkook

forty

Almost running past him, I saw Jung-hyun on the floor.

His face was bloodied and bruised, and he seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness.

Despite the roaring pain in my ribs from where he'd kicked my side countless times the previous week, deemed broken by multiple nurses but left untreated as a punishment from my father for having 'freakish eyes', I fell to the floor beside him.

Hands shaking faster than snow whirling in a storm, I brought Jung-hyun's head to lay upon my lap. 

Upon bruised thighs as a result from Jisom punching me because I apparently flirted with this man, and as a result from father and mother hitting me for whatever reason they could attempt to synthesise.

Blood gushed from the majority of his body, the main one being the wide cut along his neck. 

Too much blood.

Too much for any chance of survival.

It was literally pooling in my hands by the second.

Not to mention the likely internal damage from the multiple bruising marks on his head, fingers broken from clearly attempting to defend himself, his pinky and ring finger choosing to bend at funny angles.

His stomach appeared to have been kicked also, judging by the huge bruises along his ribcage, matching with me, so it's almost definite that his ribs were cracked at the very least.

I knew he wouldn't make it.

He couldn't.

There was no way.

Not when a wound had been inflicted by a knife, the clean cut meaning that it'd been slashed quickly and in the heat of the moment.

"It's okay, brother. It's okay. I'm here. I'm gonna stay with you, you're not alone." I kept my voice calm as Jung-hyun's bruised and swollen eyes looked up to me, rolling back and forth as he struggled to stay awake.

"J-Jeon?" He stammered, blood pooling in his cheek as a result of the several cuts, new and old, along his bottom lip.

"Yes?"

"I-I'm so sor-sorry fo-for every-rything." He attempted to say clearly, words barely audible as blood frothed and bubbled.

"It's okay. I forgive you." I smiled down at him, ignoring the pain that hissed as me as a result. I ignored the way I couldn't look at him clearly through my left eye, the skin too swollen and bruised due to Jisom's punishment.

I ignored the way it hurt to smile, my lips cut and torn due to Jung-hyun beating me and how they hadn't healed as a result of father joining in on the beating every so often, so I was left with permanent scarring along my bottom lip.

I had to ignore the screaming agony that rose within me as he gripped my hands, so he wouldn't be alone, the broken fingers stuck in his grasp. Broken bones due to Jisom, though it didn't come as a surprise to many.

I sat with him for a few minutes, his last few minutes, whispering words of comfort to him as I mindlessly patted his head, as mother used to before she developed her hatred towards me. I did it, knowing that it was the way to comfort him. 

I took note of everytime he and his boyfriend would argue, watching from my broken table in the damp corner as mother hugged Jung-hyun tightly, patting his head to help him calm down from his crying fit.

"It h-hurts." Jung-hyun said, the voice reduced to a whisper and it would've been barely audible, if it wasn't for the lack of my parents screaming for one another or the neighbours drunkenly throwing their alcohol bottles around.

It was peaceful that day.

Strangely quiet.

Too quiet.

Maybe my senses had just focused in on Jung-hyun, biting my inner cheek as I held back my emotions, watching as his eyelids began to flutter, bloodshot seeping into his eyes. 

"I know. I know it hurts."

I'd been through it too.

Just not to this extent.

"When you're ready to let go, let go." I murmured, "I'm going to be here."

With that, he mumbled something along the lines of "love you, little brother" before he eventually drifted away, leaving me silently crying (if I made a noise, I'd be beaten), holding his lifeless body.

I sat there for five hours more, numb as anything until my parents came home.

Of course, they blamed me. Not for killing him.

But for the boyfriend abusing him.

If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have done it.

Nodding slowly, I laid Jung-hyun down, heart breaking as I removed his hand from mine, packing up my stuff and deciding that Busan was no longer for me.

-----------------------------F L A S H B A C K O V E R---------------------

Coughing, my eyes stung as I swatted the smoke away, regretting the deep drag that I had just stupidly took.

Holding my cigarette between the index and middle fingers of my left hand, I used the tip of my index finger on my right hand to wipe my eyes, only to find that I was crying.

Stupid flashbacks.

Stupid Jisom.

Stupid Jung-hyun.

"Jeongguk?"

I snapped my head towards the voice, relieved to see Taehyung, his soft features highlighted by the moonlight, blanket wrapped around his lithe figure.

"Petal." I mumbled, exhaling the smoke, "are you cold?"

Ignoring my question (which was just something to try and tear his attention away from my glistening eyes, but to no avail), he spoke, "you're crying."

"Ah, no, no. I just choked on the smoke."

"Yeah, whatever. I know you better than that." He scoffed, sitting beside me on the bonnet.

Plucking the cigarette from my fingers, he squished it between the pads of his longer fingers, quietly and cutely cursing at the burn, he threw it to the floor.

Using his hands, he made me look at him by pressing either hand to my cheeks.

"Whenever you want to tell me, I'm always here. I'll always listen to you, Jeongguk. When, or if, you ever need to tell me about all this. I'll be here, just know that. I love you. You're my soulmate. I need you in my life and I can't stand to see you in this way. What happened to my happy and joking Jeongguk? The one who was singing his heart out to 'Bang Bang Bang', or whatever it was, a few hours ago. The one making unnecessarily sexual jokes about everything. The cheerful and affection Jeongguk, rubbing my knee to comfort me whenever a car drove too fast." He smiled sweetly and warmly, "I love you, Jeongguk and it pains me to see you in this way."

He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead, just as I did when I comforted Taehyung whenever he was upset, holding my cold hands in his warm ones, about to speak when the sound of kicking stones could be heard whilst someone walked nearer.

Shit.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't pathetic little Jeongguk. Fancy seeing you here, I thought you might've killed yourself by now." He spoke cruelly, "and who's this? One of your fuckbuddies that you cheated on me with?"

Taehyung's face contorted in anger, the only time I'd ever seen him angry, hands still holding mine but jawline clenched and chest stiffened as he turned his attention to the man.

"Who the fuck are you?" He spat.

"Jue Jisom." He spoke, voice still as crude as ever.