Cinderella's Twist

chapter twenty-one: he's your boy, don't lose him

"You want me to be the maid of honor?" I ask in shock.

Lauren smiles at me and nods. "I don't have any super close friends that I'd want to play that part ad my sister is too young. I've known you since you were ten. I wouldn't want anyone else to play the role."

"Lauren, just being a bridesmaid is an honor," I say and hug her. "Of course I'll be your maid of honor."

"I wasn't going to let you say no," Derek says.

"Mhm, okay. Sure," I say.

"Kids! Get in here!" I hear my dad yell and I look at Derek ad he shrugs at me.

We walk into the dining room and I see a plastic bin sitting on the counter. Inside there's oil, water balloons, soap, and socks. Those little assholes got me into this mess. They played this stupid game last week when mom and dad were at work.

"Now, Francisco found this box and told us that the floor was very greasy and there are water stains on the banister," mom says raising an eye. "Anyone care to explain?"

"It was Jaclynn's idea," Brian says with a shrug.

"Um, no it was not. You idiots rallied this game together on Halloween," I protest and fold my arms across my chest.

"Snitch," Freddy scoffs.

"Don't you dare call me a snitch," I say and start going at him but Ricky grabs my arm and Lucas grabs the other. 

I calm down and snag my arms from them. 

"I don't care who's idea it was, but you're all going to have to pay for it," mom says.

"All of you are spending the day cleaning the cars tomorrow before Chance's birthday party," dad says and all of us groan and try to protest.

"Dad, I wasn't even involved!" I yell.

"Too bad. You didn't stop it," mom says.

"Whatever. I'm going over to Noah's. he's helping me study," I say and grab my car keys.

"Be back before dinner," Dad says as I leave the room and close the front door.

***

"I'm so stressed!" I yell and groan into Noah's pillow and throw all of my books onto his floor including my laptop.

"They're just semi-finals," Noah laughs and pulls me into him. I rest my head on his lap and fit my hand in his.

"I'm a junior. This whole year counts for everything. I don't know what I want to do with my life and failing my exams isn't going to help me," I whine. 

"Babe, you're the smartest girl I know. I have never heard of you failing anything."

"It's just college is on the line now," I say and that makes me think of something I don' want to. 

"Noah?"

"Hmm?" He replies running his fingers through my hair and looking down at me. 

"What are we going to do when you leave for college?" I ask in a small voice.

He sits m up and lets out a breath. "I don't want to fucking talk about this but I have to. I don't want to leave you. If that isn't obvious I don't know what to say. I got n acceptance letter from Ohio State. If I go there I can get on the Indians, no doubt, once I get drafted. The way you're going is making me think that you're going to go be a lawyer. I mean the way you fight for things, it's insane. You're going to end up at Standford or Berkeley or some crazy high priced school. I'm not expecting you to sit around and wait for me. But I want you to know that I love you. No matter what happens I'm never going to stop."

I stare at him in the eyes with my mouth open. I've never told a boy that love him. A boy has never told me that they love me. Do I love Noah? That is by far the dumbest question I have ever asked myself. Of course, I love him. He sits with me and listens to me complain about nothing and everything. He watches Chance with me. He comes to stupid family events I can barely tolerate. He paints my nails and straightens my hair when I ask. He does stupid things for me I can't think of anyone else who would do them for me.

"I..."

Why can't I say it? I want to say it. I know I feel the same. So say it, Lynn. Noah looks at me and something in his eyes break a little which makes me put my hands in my face and want to cry. 

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"Hey," he says and pulls me into a hug. "don't be sorry."

I move away from him. "You just told me you love me and I can't say it back! Most guys would be pissed and ask me to leave but you're just that perfect."

He grabs my face by his hands and smirks at me while looking into my eyes. "This is why I love you. I'm not forcing you to say it back Jaclynn. I'm not that guy. I want you to say it when you fully mean it--"

"But I do mean it," I argue.

"No, I know but there's something holding you back. I have no clue what that is but you'll move past it," he says and then kisses my foreheads and my eyes flutter closed.

"You deserve to hear it, though," I whisper.

"Yeah, sure. I guess so but I want it to be on your terms. Not mine," he tells me. "College is still months away and I want to spend all of my time with you."

I sigh and snuggle into his arms as he leans back on his bed. "I don't want you to leave."

"I lost you once and found you again. I think a miracle can happen twice," he assures me.

***

"Wait what am I supposed to do now?" I ask my mom as I lick my fingers of the cookie dough and snake an eye to watch her catch me.

She smiles and shakes her head. "Roll the dough into small balls, put them on a cookie sheet and press your thumb in the center."

"Gotcha, momma," I say and swipe some more cookie dough.

"Stop eating that!" She says and laughs at me.

I laugh and do what she told me. "Hey, mom?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?" she answers.

"Dad went to college before you right?" I ask her.

"Yep. I was a sophomore and he was a senior. Why are you asking?" she wonders.

"Noah is leaving and I don't know if I'm ready for that. I'm just afraid of what will happen to us. What if we're on opposite sides of the country and see each other twice a year. What if we meet other people?" my voice gets quiet.

"Has he told you he loves you?" she asks me with a slight smile on her face.

I nod and mirror her expression.

She watches me for a minute. "You didn't say it back."

I shake my head.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to say it back to mean it. I think you don't want to because of the fear of losing him to someone else. Don't rush it, okay? You'll lose him that way," she says and kisses my temple.

"You think he really loves me?" I ask her.

She smiles. "Last week he was over here for dinner. We were all at the table arguing about how our disaster camping trip was a disaster. Noah just sat back and laughed. He looked at you like you were a million dollars. He was sitting across from you and next to me. I asked him what he was thinking because he was gazing at my daughter like a lovestruck puppy. He said because you had no makeup on, your hair was just up, and you were in jeans and t-shirt and because of that, he was in love with you."

I grin and laugh while shaking my head. "That boy..."

"He's your boy. Don't lose him."