Dear Me...

Day 67: 17/6/2018

This has kinda turned into something I update once in a while, sometimes sticking to the original theme of inspired positivity but more often than not fanboying or just being a general slacker and/or emotional human being. Honestly, I'm strangely okay with that for some reason.

Anyway, today I decided to finally write something to a long time crush of mine. It's kinda sad that I still like them at this point really. I'm almost sure they barely remember my name but here I am, writing a confession that I may never actually send to them.

I'm actually too much of a wuss to do this in person (for more reasons than one). But, I thought that if I ever did get the courage to do it, it'd be nice to finally get it off my chest.

I don't know really, I guess it's just a running trend with me. Falling for people and harbouring those feelings for too long to be healthy while the other person never felt the same in the first place or got over it in no time whatsoever (the first one being the case in all but one and a half instances (that half is really hard to explain)). There has only been one time where this hasn't happened and things were actually looking good for once but then I had to go and mess it up because of course I did.

I'd blame it on me not being over the person I wrote the letter to, which is true but upon further thought I realized that isn't entirely it. I guess I was so afraid of it happening again, me investing 1000% of myself while the other person ended up not caring in the end that I kinda jumped the gun and tripped up something that could've been great.

Okay so that went somewhere I really wasn't expecting when I started writing this. I guess today's just gonna be filled with confessions. I don't know, maybe I'll even end up confessing to the person in the next two weeks (before summer starts for me and I don't see them for the next two ish months). I don't know. Anybody has any advice as to what I should do about this?

(I'm also gonna apologize for how all over the place this got and how insanely stupid I can be when it comes to emotions)