Painted Smile | Dan x Reader

Not Enough

Hey there. This is part 24 and I was planning on making this story 25, but I think it'll last longer. Do you want me to continue it?

Enjoy~

Dan's POV

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. I sat up, squinting, and brushed my hand over the bed in some lazy and fruitless effort to feel her still under the duvet with me. I glanced at the light filtering through the blinds and I rubbed at my eyes. Maybe she was up and sat somewhere. I got up and padded across the floor with my bare feet. The flat was quiet and still. She wasn't anywhere to be found. I walked across the hall and knocked at her door, but there was no answer.

"(Y/n)?" It was 11 AM she should be up.  "(Y/n)?" I called again, knocking at the door. I heard a gentle throat being cleared and I turned around. She was up and dressed, her camera bag slung over her shoulder.

"Hey," she said, smiling at me. I stepped back, watching her intently as she unlocked the door. The flat was still and untouched and she set her keys aside. She hung up the bag and glanced back at me. "Did you not change?" I glanced down at the clothes from yesterday, the ones I fell asleep in.

"Oh no, I just wanted to make sure you were good." I noticed her glance down at her sneakers.

"Yeah," she replied and I followed her into the kitchen.

"What are you going to do when he comes back?" She glanced up and let out a breath.

"I talked to him this morning."

"About what?" She seemed hesitant.

"He seemed normal and I couldn't..." she trailed off, "it was just a warning to answer because he was worried."

"You didn't confront him?"

"It's not a for sure thing, Dan." I glanced up at her. "He seemed totally normal."

"You're not...you're not going to forgive him are you?" I watched her play with her fingers and avoid eye contact. "(Y/n)."

"It's hard."

"You cried all last night, you can't."

"I don't know, maybe I can."

"(Y/n)..."

"Just save the lecture, I'm confused," she said, placing her face in her hands. She wiped down her complexion gently and placed her hands on the counter. Her face was covered in its usual make up because she went out. She was hiding the bruise. But she hasn't said a word. I furrowed my eyebrows and placed a hand on hers.

"Sorry I didn't mean to seem pushy," I said and she shook her head. "You have time to think and you should." I pulled my hand away and she straightened her back leaning back. I left her staring at me leaving. Should I have left her alone? She needed to think, but she told me not to leave her alone. I shut her front door and headed into my own. I paused in the doorway looking at the empty hall between our doors. I glanced down at my feet and shut the doors behind me.

(Y/n)'s POV

I stared at the empty doorway to the kitchen and leaned against the counter behind me, crossing my arms. My phone rang and I knew it was Cayden, but I just let it ring.

He cheated.

Well maybe.

Let's say it's true. He broke every ounce of trust I had for him. He was my everything, but if it was true I was nothing to him. Nothing. I'm worthless. I felt my eyes sting.

She was probably outgoing and pretty, everything I used to be. He's just tired of me. The phone stopped and I sniffles, pulling one of my crossed arms to wipe my face. I felt my sweater gently soak up fat tears that rested on my cheeks.

She probably had so many things I didn't. When Cayden showed interest in me, I was beyond shocked at his choice. Out of anyone he chose me. It was a feeling of pride that I held onto so tightly. I'd see a girl pass and I knew that he picked me not her. He knew what was best for me and he taught me things. Whether it hurt me emotionally or physically he knew that he was helping me and I knew it too.

But if he cheated all of that is gone. He was just some guy who was pretending to love me. And I should let go, but I can't help but believe that this was all a mistake and he picked me for a reason. That he still loves me and just made a bad decision.

He still cares right?

But if he cared he wouldn't hurt me like that. He wouldn't make me cry if he cared. It wouldn't be like this if he cared. My phone began to buzz again and I answered, not knowing what I would say.

"What did I say earlier? This is the second call."

"Maybe I was busy." I said. "Do you ever think if I'm busy?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"What are you calling for?"

"You said you were going to work, how was it?" I paused, my chest aching. I was being terse with him and I'd get myself in trouble. But if he touched another woman I don't want him touching me. But that sweet and simple question. He wanted to know how it went.

Does he really care?

"Fine." I could hear his breathing change over the phone.

"That's all."

"Okay then."

"Goodbye (y/n)."

"Goodbye." I sucked in my breath as I hung up and I set the phone aside. I set my head on the cool counter, feeling my head throb. What's wrong with me? Leaving should be easy so why can't I?!

I pictured him sat in his hotel room holding the phone after our conversation. I gritted my teeth and felt tears begin to steadily stream down my face. It's simple. If he was unfaithful, leave him. Tell him to get out of here. I glanced up at the bare walls.

There were no pictures to decorate, not of us, not of his family, not of mine. It was like a ghost was living here. I wiped away my tears and made my way up to the office. There sat a picture of us in a small frame on his office desk. At least there was one. I sniffled and sat down in the thick leather chair. Now that I think about it I haven't talked to my family in so long. When I was with Cayden I didn't have to. He was family.

Now I'm all alone. I'm sure I'd be u welcome at home after my disappearance, but I didn't really have to think about that when he was here. I missed my mom. I shut my eyes and tears dropped off my wet cheeks. I let out a noise of pain, gripping the arms of the chair.

You are so alone.

He's isolated me from everyone. But that was enough, he was enough. I stared at the photo.

Was.

Not now.

He's not enough anymore.

Yet I still love him with everything I am.

So much I can't breathe.

I owe him everything.

I'm not enough.

Well then.

Stay awesome!

~Calymari