Lacrosse

37- Trust and Lust

Josh

When I enter the school this morning, I have every intention of finding Todd and beating him to a bloody pulp. He's smaller than me in both stature and build. It won't be hard for me to do it, physically or emotionally. He deserves it.

But when I get to him and I shove him into the lockers, the anger inside of me dies. In it's place comes a betrayed sadness. I've never really liked Todd and he's never really liked me. But we're on each other's team. We're supposed to have each other's backs and protect our teammates from stuff like this. Todd forgot all about that bond and broke it. He did the exact opposite of what he is supposed to do.

I can't bring myself to hit him. I don't know why, but I just can't. The pain is too much for me I guess, so instead of punching his pretty little face in with my fist, I let him go and storm hastily away.

As I elbow my way through the crowd that gathered around Todd, Jessica, and me, I hear their murmurs of confusion. They want to know what it was about. They want to know what happened on Saturday. They want to know if I was talking about what happened with Kendall.

They'll just have to get their noses back into their own business and accept the fact that they will never know the answers to the questions they're asking.

*****

"It's a good thing it's Friday because we can sure as hell use some team bonding right now," Coach Scott hisses from the center of the field. Both lacrosse teams are gathered around Scott and Amanda, sitting on the floor in a circle. While everyone chatters with their friends sitting by them, I sit silently. I have no one here to talk to. Andrew hates me right now. Destiny and Rachel keep shooting me icy daggers from their brown eyes. And Kendall...

"Welcome back Kendall. I hope you're feeling better now," Coach Amanda chirps happily. Kendall gives her a small smile before going back to twirling the hair in her long ponytail around her finger.

"What is the matter with you all? You're supposed to be a family. You've all been best friends since the second you stepped out on this field the first day of practice. What happened? We're fighting each other rather than the enemy. Look around at the faces of the fifty people around you. These are not your enemies. These are your teammates. They're your support group whenever you need anything. Don't turn your back on that now." Scott says this addressing everyone, but all the while he is looking right at Todd and me.

What happened? Michael Corbin happened. My mom happened. Todd and Jessica happened. Kimmy happened. That's what happened Coach.

"Scott's right. If you all keep acting the way you have been this week, we'll for sure lose the Pittsburgh Hills games. We need everyone to have their head on straight and a common goal. This goal is not to get revenge on each other for whatever it is that you did, but to avenge the decades of battles fought on this very field against this very team. If we can't do that, there is no need for us to even play tonight and tomorrow. We might as well forfeit now and save everyone the time," Amanda says.

My head's not on straight though. I can't even think about playing my game tomorrow. All I can think about is Kendall and what I can do to right all of my wrongs.

"Now let's talk about our strategy for these games. Same thing as last weekend only this time, actually follow it. Defend, don't offend. If they want to get penalties and get kicked out, good for them. That's not how we play here. That's not how we want to play. We want to honor the sport and either win or lose with dignity." He looks directly into my eyes as he speaks these words.

"We all know Pittsburgh Hills plays dirty. They play offensively with lots of passing, shooting, and ultimately scoring. Don't let them score on you. If you intercept their passes, you're good to go. They can't recover on defense. That's not who they are.

"Boys, you play tonight at six o'clock so just stay here after practice. Scott will release you to the locker rooms to get dressed and there are some peanut butter sandwiches in the cooler. Team dinner afterwards no matter what happens. We'll either go in to Antonio's as state champs or hard fought runner ups. Girls, you play tomorrow at six o'clock as well. Team dinner afterwards. Same shebang only Mexican food instead of Italian," Amanda says.

Scott looks down at his watch to check the time. "Okay, we have an hour and a half left so that'll hopefully give us plenty of time to mend the break in this team.

"Instead of having you do a game like we usually do, we're going to do some trust exercises instead because it seems like there is a lack of trust among some of you. You will each be paired with a person that we have noticed you having issues with. If we haven't noticed anything, you will just be paired with someone that you need to be able to trust in order for us to have the best chances of winning tonight and tomorrow."

Scott begins to partner up the boys and Amanda starts doing the same to the girls, breaking us off into eleven groups of two and one group of three per team.

No surprise came from Scott's choice to partner me up with Todd. I'd be shocked if I was paired with anyone but Todd.

Kendall is paired up with Jessica, another non-surprise. Word around the school is that after I left, Kendall went up to Jessica and Todd to demand answers. I don't know what they told her, but I hope it'll help her forgive me.

*****

Our trust exercise is basically forcing us to confide in our partner. We are required to tell them our deepest, darkest secrets. Scott and Amanda must not realize that trust has to be earned, not forced.

And Todd has lost any trust I had gained for him.

Here's the deal guys. I'm bored with Lacrosse. I have so many other ideas that I am more motivated to write about than this. The ending to this story may feel a little bit rushed because in all honestly, it is. I'm really sorry if it disappoints any of you. I'm trying to tie up as many loose threads as I can as quickly as I can. I know that if I try to keep writing this and make it the length that it could be, my boredom with the story line will show through. That's not fair to this book or to my readers that have been so supportive. I want to make Lacrosse the best it can be, and I believe that this is the way to do it.

That being said, there will only be two more chapters. The next one will be in Kendall's point of view, then an epilogue in Michael's. Then I will post an author's note announcing what is to come.

Xoxo,

Sydney