Shades of Tea

Sencha

"The sun is always shining. We have oxygen, trees, birds. There's so much good things on Earth, still. We haven't destroyed everything." - Ziggy Marley

"That was the most incredible night of my life." Dylan whispered in my ear, as the early morning light filtered through the thin curtains. I turned to look at him, pushing the hair from his eye before pecking him lightly on the lips. It was times like these I wish I could speak, to tell him my feelings. There was still something holding me back, a fear I couldn't yet identify.

I slipped out of bed, the sheets falling from my naked body as I picked up Dylan's discarded shirt from the floor. Buttoning it up, I walked over to the desk that doubled up as a simple kitchen. I flicked the kettle on and grabbed two mugs and placing it beside the kettle before opening my diary up to a fresh page.

What's the plan for today then? I walked over to Dylan and showed him the page.

"I was thinking of taking a hot air balloon ride. What do you think?" He asked, sitting up against the head board. I shrugged and nodded. "You look very sexy in my shirt you know." He smirked, leaning back on his arm not so subtly checking me out.

I just huffed, shaking my head before getting the freshly brewed cups of coffees. He thanked me by placing a kiss on my lips before sipping on the hot brew. I did enjoy the occasional cup of coffee, today just seemed appropriate to share one with my companion. Taking a sip of my own, I frowned when I tasted the bitter drink.

"You don't have to drink coffee because of me you know." Dylan said, getting out of bed to head to the boiled kettle. He dropped a teabag into a fresh mug before pouring the water in, sprinkling in some lavender leaves and a dash of milk. "Here you go." He smiled.

Dylan was thoughtful is more ways than one. His wisdom surpassed those of his age and experience. I noticed, while watching the sunlight dancing across his face, the scars of his past. His eyebrows furrowed ever so slight, while his eyes held a weariness only found in older men. I feared the traumas in our lives would stop us from fully committing to this journey we were undertaking. I feared we were too damaged to be repaired. Our pasts haunt us each day and night, to the point we're afraid of looking beyond what is in front of us.

My fears screamed at me as I slept, roaring loudly in my ears. There wasn't a night I slept through the dark, that is until last night. I felt like a child in this journey, relearning everything I had forgotten. I learnt how to embrace the dark so my nightmares didn't haunt me anymore. It was one night after many nights where I slept till the sun came out.

We are only a granola bar before driving out to the fields where enormous balloon lay flat against the grass, the last of the morning dew lifting from the blades. Gathered on the field were our companions on this ride, eager, wide eyed and fuelled with caffeine. Equipped with cameras, and big smiles they boarded the basket. 

Dylan climbed into the basket, holding out his hand to help me up. Within minutes the fire was on and the balloon was inflating. The guests were chattering, excitement filling the balloon along with the hot air. "You know, I've always been afraid of heights." Dylan laughed.

But what about when we jumped off the cliff?

"Well that was just a leap of faith. I didn't know if I could do it. I didn't even know if you would do it." He laughed. I looked at him with a deadpanned expression. "Everything we do has to be with faith. Without faith, we'd forever be afraid unknown, afraid of the next step. We can't live with fear, it stops us from being ourselves. Having faith means I can conquer those fears that hinder me from growing. Growth is necessary and it took me a long time to realise that I should just let it happen."

I looked at him with tears in my eyes. 

"Hey, why are you crying?" He frowned, looking at me softly.

You have such a beautiful profound mind. You're questioning everything, and yet accepting everything you find. Its such a wonderful trait. I wrote honestly. 

"To be able to grow is a beautiful thing. In the last few weeks I have seen you change, to me that is beautiful." He wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulders as we started to ascend. Slowly we reached our maximum altitude, floating among the clouds and between the birds. The world seemed so peaceful from the view we had. Without words we glided through the sky, watching the green fields and towns pass below us. To be able to see the world in this perspective, I saw that there was still so much I had to experience. There was still so much I needed to learn because from my view there was a lot I hadn't acknowledged yet, a lot to confront. 

From our high vantage point, I could see green upon green calm undulating hills that was home to simple creatures, both big and small cohabiting with each other and life just goes on. We, as humans, think too much. We dive too deep into thought that we forget that there is a simpler way of living. I have spent too much time thinking, and clutching on to the past that I had forgotten how much there is out there that beyond my own mind. 

There was a fear of letting go of what I felt comfortable  with because I overthought how difficult it would be. The last few weeks I had let go of so much baggage, I hadn't realised how fulfilling it could be. The two of us had held on to everything so tightly, the pain was just getting too much to carry on. Perhaps it was fate that our lives collided with each other, or maybe it was the universe's way of telling us to heal. 

That dark cloud I had surrounded myself with for so long, was lifting and I could finally see the beauty the veil had hidden.