Ed Sheeran Imagines - Pure & Smut

Broken - Part 1

"On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is it today" he said softly as he held you firmly and rested his temple against your head. He always knew when you were struggling, he was the only person in the entire world who had even the slightest idea regarding your daily battle.

It was like you were color-blind and constantly being told how colorful the world is. Your world could be so incredibly beautiful one minute but absolutely soul crushing the next. Some days were so confusing, you could be so conflicted & perplexed by your own thoughts. You don't want to live anymore but you don't want to die. You don't want to talk to anyone, but you felt so very lonely. You could wake up in the morning for nothing more than to simply wait for the night to come. Life had become a blur.

"I'm not necessary sad Ed, I just feel empty today" you said with a small smile as you looked to your feet.

You felt him exhale as he held you tighter, not budging from his embrace. He started placing small pecks on your shoulder, your neck, your cheek. You could feel the tightness in your chest starting to build, the lump in your throat, the tears in your eyes threatening to fall.

You managed to shoot him a smile and wriggle your way out of his clutch. You could see in his eyes the heartbreak, worry and despair he felt, not knowing how to help you was destroying him and knowing that was further destroying you.

"Can you make me a coffee love" he asked, giving you something to focus your mind on. On days like this you weren't able to function without instruction. You needed someone to be in charge, to direct your mind into doing something constructive and not dwell over the darkness growing in your head.

As you reached for a mug you paused, just briefly as you contemplated which one to grab. The yellow was right in front and seemed the most logical but the one slightly to the left was covered in beautiful vibrant colors that for a moment filled you with hope. Or maybe the blue, that was his favorite color after all. Then of course there was the mug covered in kitten's, you had bought that in an airport in Australia for him, he loved cats and when you saw it you knew he would love it.

All of a sudden you felt really tired, like the world had drained you for everything you had. How is it that something as simple as choosing a mug could cripple you to the point of shear exhaustion? Nothing made sense anymore. You stood there staring at the shelf filled with mugs in front of you completely overwhelmed at such a simple task.

You felt his hand on your hip squeezing ever so gently as he reached over and retrieved the yellow cup, placing it directly in front of you. "Sorry" you muttered to yourself as you snapped back into reality placing the mug onto the platform and retrieving a pod to place into the machine.

"Don't apologize sweetheart" he said as he went back to making breakfast for the two of you.

Today was going to be a bad day. It wasn't often you had them, maybe once a month or so. For the most part you're able to function, your able to push aside the darkness and focus on everything that makes life so beautiful. It wasn't always like this but there has always been a little sadness inside your happiness, you've never been able to really separate the two.

As you placed the coffee onto the table in front of him you took your place sitting beside the man you loved. You looked down to the plate of food in front of you. How long had it taken you to make a simple coffee? Bacon, egg's, toast all sat neatly on the plate. How much time had you lost trapped inside your own mind.

"Ella" you looked over to Ed and smiled.

"I'll be right back, eat your breakfast darlin" he said as he walked out of the room grabbing the phone with him as he went.