neighbours » h.s [REVISING]

The End

As a little girl, I once dreamed that one day I would have a fairytale wedding with my fairytale husband and we would run away together into the adventure of a lifetime. I imagined I would have a magical palace-like house with him and our beautiful children and we would live happily ever after. 

That was no longer the case. Maybe If I wasn't sitting in the doctor's office telling Becca I was four weeks pregnant with Harry's child I could still have that fairytale but now that was all gone. Just, gone. 

I couldn't just have a simple break up and move on with my life, I had a piece of him with me forever. As I listened to Becca tell me everything was okay and I had her by my side, I wasn't actually listening. I hung up and faced the doctor, who looked back at me with painful eyes. 

"Maelynn, there are plenty of options for you. You could consider adoption or even..a termination of the pregnancy." She explained. I shut my eyes for a moment. While terminating my pregnancy would relieve me of all my problems, I think the thought of doing that hurt me more than what was ahead of me. I had to think about it in depth and not in the chair of a clinic.

I simply thanked her and began my lonely drive home. My home didn't really feel like home- actually, nothing felt like anything. My body was existing but I wasn't, I was just getting on with life. Part of me is willing to ignore the texts I saw and carry on with Harry as usual, and it was starting to become a steady option. As I parked my car in my driveway his car was gone and I couldn't help but think he was with her, which only hurt my heart more. I sat in the front seat of my car crying. 

The big ball of stress was rolling and rolling and rolling until eventually it just had to be released. I had no way of doing so except crying but at this point, I was too exhausted to cry. I have never felt pain like this before. Harry was my whole heart and the entirety of my happiness yet he hurt me like no person has ever hurt me before. I guess I was just a stupid girl who cared too much and I had done what I always do; I let people in too fast. 

I rested my head on the steering wheel, ignoring the fact that it set the horn off. I didn't want to move or do anything actually, I wanted to sleep until the pain was no longer there. I just wanted Harry. 

"Maelynn!" A voice yelled. I was pulled from my seat in the car and shook violently by my brother. "Fuck me, I thought you collapsed." He yelled. I let him waiver my lifeless body around and found it strange I was capable of keeping myself up yet I felt like I was floating around outside of my body once again. He began to lead me inside the house when I shook my head no. 

"Mae, come on." He urged. I was pulled in and he shut the door after me, but I was just as quickly surrounded by people. 

"Maelynn, have you got something to tell me?" My mother asked. 

I looked at her confused. here was no way she knew about my pregnancy. My dad spoke too, asking me to answer my mother but I was cut off. "Harry has been here about six times looking for you. Anne has been looking for you since last night, what the hell has happened?" She yelled. 

I looked at her angrily. She had no idea what happened, nobody does. Not even Harry himself. I was trying my best to talk and explain but nothing would come out except a choked gasp for air before I broke down. The people who were watching me slowly go mentally insane were supposed to be my support system, yet I was being blamed for this mess.  I recollected my strength and opened the door again, making a run for the car. I started up the engine and reversed, watching Alfie chase me down the driveway. His face contorted from worry to confusion and I had to look away as I drove.  Just as I pulled out and sped for the road Harry's own car passed by and we only made brief eye contact before I sped up and he hit his breaks. The image of him looking at me, the same outfit as yesterday broke my heart.