Snowflakes Fall and So Did I

~CHAPTER 22~

"So um," Hiccup starts, taking me by surprise. I had thought that this whole ride would be done in silence. "I know I said this earlier, but thanks again for the dragon." He wasn't looking at me or the dragon, which I noticed he placed between us rather than hold it in his lap. If he was trying to give us space it's not working, but I admire the effort. Instead, he kept his eyes ahead, looking to the sky, almost as though he longs to be up there in the clouds.

"And like I said earlier," I say, relieved that words are being exchanged. "You're welcome." I had kept my eyes at the setting sun too as I spoke, not daring to look below. So up it is.

From the corner of my eye, I see Hiccup's head move and hear him whistle either disapprovingly or impressed. "That line is long. I don't think we'll be able to ride the Night Fury tonight. It'll take us hours."

The cart rocked a little to fast to my liking and my grip, which is already on the bars, tighten, along with my stomach. "Ugh I'd rather be in line for that roller coaster--No, I'd rather be ON the roller coaster forever than here." I lean my head up some more, keeping my eyes farther away from the ground. "I'd rather be on any ride than this one."

I felt Hiccup's eyes on me, but kept my eyes up. I didn't need to look at him either to know that his eyes are wide with surprise. "Wait, are you afraid of Ferris Wheels? They're like the calmest ride ever."

"Bullshit!" I snap right when the cart rocks again as the ride circled up and back down. "These things should be illegal."

And much to my annoyance, he laughs. I sharply look over at him, already glaring and ready to punch his shoulder, but I was too afraid to move too fast to punch him and upon seeing his laughing face...my glare vanished. I've never seen him laugh up close before. It's...cute.

"Something funny, Haddock?" I ask, using my intimidating voice.

Hiccup's laugh comes to a complete halt and he realizes his mistake. "Oh I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh. Well, I mean, I did but that's only because--"

"Because you're surprised the Fearless Astrid Hofferson actually has some fears after all?" I finish for him, sighing. The one thing that makes Hiccup like everyone else is the fact that he thinks I'm fearless. I'm not. I have more courage than most people, but I do have fears.

"As much as I like how highly some people think of me," I continue, "I feel like they forget that I'm still human. I have fears. I just like acting as though I don't. That's why I agreed to get on this stupid piece of scrap metal."

"Why act though? If you don't want to do something because you're afraid, then you shouldn't feel pressured to do it. I admit you should at least try to conquer your fears, but don't do it if it really stresses you out too much. Do it when you're ready." Hiccup says, and I suddenly hated both him and myself.

He's right, of course, but it's none of his business why I act. However, I did blurt out all that info. Of course he'd be curious and say something inspirational. Honestly, I'm glad. It means he cares. Because another thing I like about my best friend's cousin is that, even when it's not his business, he cares anyway.

That's why I've been so worked up about him these last few months. I know him sneaking out isn't my business, but I...I care about...I care about Merida and she cares about him, so I care about him too. For her sake. I need to know he's not doing anything illegal, which I know he wouldn't dare do, but honestly he's so unpredictable. I can never figure him out entirely.

"It's easier I guess," I say, being the most honest I have ever been with him. With anyone actually. That includes Merida. "Less issues I suppose. Plus, it's not easy being a girl in this world. Guys rarely mess with a girl who they know isn't afraid to fuck them up and who isn't afraid of them."