Beautifully Damaged

23. Fear

Anxiety twisted my stomach, but my mind was made up. I was going to head out tonight, regardless of school. Explanations were necessary for me to move on with my life. There had to be some pretty simple justification for what had happened to me, and my mother would surely have some insight to that. Even if she didn’t, she’d help me, right?

I sat up, letting my hand fall back to the table and looked around the room restlessly. Drake caught my eyes with his darkly intense ones, drawing my attention toward him. Surely, he didn’t think I’d forgotten about yesterday afternoon already? Was I really that quick to forgive? I narrowed my eyes at him and turned back to concentrate, blocking him completely.

It took a while for the feeling of being watched to fade away but, eventually, Drake stopped looking at me. Another heavy sigh escaped my lips. Yeah, I was heading out on a road trip to Detroit tonight. Heaven knew I needed it.

The bell rang, signaling the end of Biology. As per usual, I packed up my stuff and headed out with Jenna. She opened her mouth, assumingly to ask me what had happened, and why I was so upset, but her phone cut her off and after a glance at it, she realized that her parents needed her at home.

“I’m sorry, B. I really have to get home, I’ll call you?” She asked her face creased with worry.

I was really glad that I had Jenna as a best friend; I couldn’t imagine anyone else being there quite like she’d been there for me. “That’s alright, go home. It can wait.”

“Thanks,” Jenna smiled and slipped her phone back into her bag. “But don’t think you’re getting out of telling me all the details.”

That pried a smile out of me, and a slight laugh. I waved as she left, disappearing down the bustling hallway. I decided that, instead of going out of the main entrance, I’d go around the side of the school, as it was closer to my car than the other way.

Readjusting my route, I walked as the amount of people decreased, until I was alone at the exit. Far off, I heard the sounds of people chatting. I pushed the bar on the door, heaving it open; it was much heavier than the main entrance. Just as I got it open, a hand appeared beside mine and shut it again.

I whirled to face Drake, not in the mood for yet another confrontation with him.

“What do you want?” I asked, exasperated, throwing my hands up into the air.

He closed the space between us, forcing me to step backwards. I didn’t like the invasion of my space, but liked the fact that I had backed up even worse. Looking up, I met dark eyes, black eyes like abysses, like his pupils had swallowed his irises. My palms dampened when my heart rate jumped a little. What was wrong with him?

“Drake?” I utter, pushing him back by the chest. He didn’t budge an inch. “Cut it out, it’s not funny.”

He laughed, a cruel, sarcastic sound as he put his hands on either side of my head, on the door behind me. “I suppose it’s not, but then again, it’s not supposed to be.”

My hands were trapped between our chests, rendering them pretty useless against his evident strength. “What are you doing?” I asked again, failing to hide the fear I felt from my voice.

***

Drake was consumed with anger. It was irrational and impulsive, the way pure fury often was. He’d managed to keep it under control when he’d heard what had happened between her and Alex, just barely. However, when she looked at him with such contempt, in Biology, he’d lost it.

She had no right to look at him that way, as if she were better than him. As if she could do no wrong.

It was only a momentary delusion that he’d had, a lapse on his part, which had allowed him to think that maybe they were similar enough to work. That maybe she would be able to tolerate him, to change him. It was unmistakable to identify now that it would never happen.