peaches | fillie

thirty

Song: So Glad You Said Goodbye by Allegra Krieger

August

The air didn't sit right on Millie's skin. It was heavy and sweaty and it made her feel unsettled. It carried a breaking bag of rocks and let the pebbles fall, one by one, across Millie's arms. The rocks became boulders as she walked, and they sunk further and further down her body.

By the time they had reached her feet, she had circled the same neighborhood four times. She moved sluggishly, her mind more aware of what she had set out to do than her body.

Along with her heart, she carried her acceptance letter. The letter she dreaded showing him. The letter that would break them.

It was going to be healthy, she decided. They wouldn't yell obscenities at each other in anger. They would end peacefully.

The couple knew that this was coming. They had had their fun, but now that he was supposed to be entering his first semester as a college student, she was holding him back. He was losing more and more opportunities as the hours ticked by. They were mutually frustrated.

But, even so, she didn't think this day would come this fast. She didn't anticipate opening her mailbox yesterday afternoon and seeing the slip of paper. She didn't predict the weight that would hold down on her shoulders as she entered her house. She thought she would be excited about her future. But now, she wanted to crawl into a hole. She wanted to hide from the bright road that lay in front of her.

***

Finn knew what was coming when she texted him that she was coming over. He knew that she had gotten in.

As he gazed into the bathroom mirror, he suddenly became so much more aware of how tried they both were. His under eyes were dark and his hair was unkempt. They were just so tired of keeping up the act.

They loved each other, obviously, but that meant that they had to let each other go at some point. They had to acknowledge that things were good and that if things kept going on as they were, they would ruin each other further. They needed a mutual breakup.

Finn didn't like the taste that word left in his mouth when he said it.

Breakup.

How absolutely dreadful that word is. It holds no hope in its spaces and letters. It was even more depressing in a sentence.

We need to breakup.

We're going to break up anyway.

We broke up.

What a pathetic excuse for letting someone go. It sounded like the relationship had died.

The thing was, Millie and Finn both knew that their relationship wasn't dying with their approaching split. They would meet again, in the future, and they would be fine. Great, even. The best of friends.

They knew what they had and they knew that they loved each other and they weren't going to let it all go so easily. They had a plan, and they were going to stick to it.

***

Millie stood in front of Finn's front door and contemplated turning around and ripping the letter up. It wasn't going to improve the situation, so against her wishes, she rustled her keyring and unlocked the door.