Transgender Help Book! (FtM)

dating

lmao sorry i disappeared for a bit, just kinda running out of things to talk to yall about. but dating is a pretty difficult thing to navigate while identifying as trans, and its different for every age group and person. as per usual, nothing i say is a definite thing. its only general advice, so your situation may be different. just take what i say and change it up to your own situation and preferences. okay, coolio. 

like i said, its different for every age group and dating style. like, meeting people online and dating long distance, using dating sites, dating people youre in work or school with, or just like you happen to meet someone, whatever. people meet all different ways. 

if you're into dating sites/apps, you should probably disclose that youre trans on your profile, or pretty soon in the conversation when you begin to talk to someone (personally, I'd prefer the latter). ofc you dont have to, but in general it seems like the safest option. online, usually the worst that'll happen is someone harrassing you via messenges, and maybe report your account. obviously thats not good, but it doesnt physically harm you and you can just block the person. chances are low theyll make a new account just to harrass you (that being said, it can happen, so be safe yall). 

however, if you go out with someone you dont really know too well and you tell them in person, or they may be able to tell before you tell them yourself, a lot worse can happen. i don't mean to scare yall but violent transphobic people exist, and you could get seriously hurt. if you do prefer to tell your date in person, definitely ask them how they feel about the lgbt community first, then specifically trans folk. if their reaction is good, you oughta be good to tell them. if not, finish the date but don't go on a second, or just politely leave when you can. whatever you choose.

just what you think is best, of course. your number one priority should be your safety. 

if you meet someone, p much same thing. let them know early on in the relationship/talking phase/whatever. some people will be angry, or feel cheated, like you led them on or whatever. like, especially for trans women who date straight cis men, guys don't wanna feel "gay" or whatever, even though its still straight. anyways, my point is the sooner the better. you'll be less attached if they react poorly, their reaction wont be as angry if they do have a bad one, and all in all it's just easier and safer to tell them pretty much first thing. personally, I'd prefer to do it over text, just for safety reasons. but you do you (:

and a reminder for everyone, cis and trans alike. 

cis man dating a trans man? gay relationship. 

cis man dating a trans woman? straight relationship.

cis woman dating a trans man? straight relationship.

cis woman dating a trans woman? gay relationship. 

trans woman dating a trans man? straight relationship. 

because my ex boyfriend used to tell me our relationship was straight because I'm trans, and i know that fucking sucks to be told. pro tip, if your partner says anything like that, LEAVE THEM. they don't respect you or your gender, and you deserve better.

 i don't want any of yall to feel invalidated because of your partners, or potential partners. i don't want yall feeling invalidated by anyone actually, but this chapter is about relationships so yeah. but if your partner is aware of your identity, and refuses to accept or acknowledge it, or says your relationship is straight if youre both guys or anything like that because youre trans, leave asap. i promise, you deserve, and can find, someone better who respects you. that's unhealthy as fuck. 

anyways, i think that's all i had to say. I'm probably forgetting a lot of things but if i am i'll make a follow up chapter. have a great day!!!