Transgender Help Book! (FtM)

stay safe

Okay so this chapter won't be so cheery. I wanted to talk about something I not just worry about, but obsess over. A very serious problem for trans people that needs to be addressed.

Violence against trans people.

I don't mean to scare you guys, but there are a couple numbers I feel the need to tell you. Trans people are 400x more likely to be attacked than cis people. One in twelve trans people get killed. 75% of trans people have reported some form of sexual  harassment/assault or worse.

I'm sorry, but its reality and its not pretty. In this chapter I want to talk to you guys about staying safe so you don't become one of those numbers. I may not know you all personally but I still care deeply about each and every one of you so your safety is just as important to me as my own.

First off, its good to check how safe your city is for a trans person to live in. Some of the worst states to live in include Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, etc. Most of those are pretty obvious actually. However, California, Oregon, Illinois, and Colorado are among the top 6 best places to live. I also know Orlando, Florida is very safe. everywhere else, you'll need to check yourself, especially before you move.

Second, do everything you can to pass. I realize most trans people already do this, but especially if you're in a bad area and people can tell you're trans it's very dangerous. Just be cautious of where you are and how you present yourself.

Next, learn some sort of self defense. Learn marital arts,  carry a weapon, something. Its awful we live in a society where we need to learn to fight just to avoid getting assaulted, but its reality. Its not pretty and this is what we need to do until the world gets a little more progressive. Anyways, you don't need to be great at  whatever defense option you choose, just good enough to get away. That is the most important thing. Do not attempt to finish off or fight your attacker. Break their grip, and run away. Find help, go to a crowded area if you can.

Next, I would suggest staying in the closet if you can.  if you can pass well enough and its an option for you, don't tell people your birth  gender. That completely erases that target on your back. (this is why its such a big deal when someone outs a trans person, it repaints that target)

finally, a little safety for home. If you're not out and you live with an unaccepting family, do not come out. if there is any chance you'll be kicked out or abused or anything else because of your gender identity, do not come out. I know how painful it is to stay in the closet, but being homeless is worse. I know of too many people who came out with unaccepting families and lost their homes.

That's the main things. I'm sorry for such a negative chapter but it needed to be  addressed. Stay safe