Bittersweet

30

I almost lost him once, loosing him again would be hell. I couldn't even move, Bill carried me out to his car and we've been driving to Roosevelt for what felt like hours. I want to tell him to speed up and run any red lights but I can't manage to speak. I was shocked at my reaction to all of this, but then I realized if this was anyone of them I'd react just as bad. I couldn't loose Niall, not like this anyways. He was coming for me? Me? I wonder if he knows about Emma, I hope so. God, what if she's there, she'd never let me see him. Thoughts flooded my head and I wanted to scream with frustration. Frustration from Emma, Harry and pretty much every living thing.

"Esme, we're here." Bill says, calmly as he opens my door for me.

I want to thank him for driving me here and for being so sweet to someone that seemed so messed up like I did, but I just run into the revolving door of the hospital and to the front desk.

"Niall Horan!" I literally scream at the nurse who jumps at my voice and scrambles for her list.

"Room 342, ma'am!" She yells, in a very scared tone, back at me.

I run down the hallways, passing sick patients, crying family members and numerous doctors before I spot the familiar lanky figure of Harry. I was surprisingly happy to see him, just grateful he was well and breathing; I hug him from behind. Well, mostly because I was attempting to slow down from running so fast and just bumped into him instead.

"Um, Esme...hey." Harry says in a small voice once he figures out who I was. My body was literally wrapped around him with my hands holding on for dear life around his chest and my legs around his waist.

"I still hate your guts but I'm glad you're alive! Promise me you'll be careful every day of you life!" I yell at him.

"I, uh, promise." He grins as I hop off of him and hug everyone else, making them promise me the same things.

"Is he in there?" I ask Fin whose eyes are as puffy as I expected.

She nods, "Mhm, he just got out of surgery, we haven't gotten to see him yet. The doctor said his face is busted up, he has a broken rib and...he might have some memory loss."

"But don't be too alarmed, we're not so sure yet. Until the anesthesia wears off and he wakes up, we'll figure it out," A tall and old man, I'm guessing the doctor, says. "I'm Doctor Reese, by the way."

"Esme Harris, nice to meet you," I force a smile, "When can I go in?"

"You are welcome to go in now, but as soon as he wakes up I'll have to ask you to leave." Doctor Reese tells me and a wash of relief comes over me. I was thankful he was still alive, and thankful Emma was no where near.

I don't hesitate to get up and make my way to his room where the only noise is the beep of his heart monitor. His face was pretty bruised with a gash on his forehead, bruises on his cheeks and lips. I sit on the side of his bed and brush his hair to the side of his face, smiling with tears rolling down my face.

"Everyone was afraid of you hurting me once, and you promised that you'd never do a thing to hurt me, who would've thought at the end I would hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, and I know words could never fix what once happened between us, but I really wish they did. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I wanted the best for you, I still do. You deserve nothing but happiness, and I don't know if us together would be your unending happiness. Things have really changed through out the years, things became increasingly difficult, I don't know if allowing you to love me again is all good. I don't know if I'll fuck up again and...what if I hurt you again? I'm not perfect, I do stupid things and I do them a lot. But all I know is, I love you Niall Horan, and I've never stopped loving you. You have always been my Zach Morris and my Prince Charming, I just wished I could be just as enough for you as you are for me."

I kiss his bruised lips ever so lightly before getting up and leaving the room, still in tears. When I'm back with everyone I lay myself across Fin, Zayn and Louis with my head resting on Fin's lap.

"I missed you Finny Bear." I say as I squeeze her cheeks.

"We missed you too Essie." Louis says before Fin can and tickles my foot. "You stopped visiting Taylor and I."

"We'll have to plan a sleepover soon, and I'm fully serious too." I tell him.

Hours pass with the group of us talking about our lives and reminisced in old memories, which was very pleasant. It made me realize how much I missed them and how much I need to spend time with them all.

"Esme!"

I'm shocked to see Bobby Horan speed walking down the hall, seeing as last time I heard he had went back to Ireland.

"Is he okay? Please tell me my son's okay."

"He's stable, but he has a broken rib and some bruises. He actually just woke up and he seems to know everything about himself, now we would like to test his memory of you all, starting with you, Mr. Horan." Doctor Reese explains then ushers Bobby to the room.

One by one, Doctor Reese calls everyone up, and it seems as though he was purposely avoiding me, since I was the last to go. But I was scared out of my mind, the thought of him forgetting me would never be okay.

"Okay Niall, this is the last one. Do you remember Esme Harris?"

(A/N: I have read all your comments, and if you still want to share your opinion be free to comment it below! My choice at the moment is to continue Bittersweet for awhile before creating a whole new and different book. If you don't seem to like my decision, or love it, please tell me in a comment! Thank you all very much, ox, Dee.)