Hogwarts Houses

Houses As Parents

Gryffindor: turns into Mama/Papa Bear when cubs are threatened, likes to surprise you, most likely to brave a family road trip, isn't afraid to get dirty or sweaty or soaked in the name of fun, passionate about teaching you to know and do The Right Thing, is fierce in anger but also fierce in love, probably swears a lot and tells you not to repeat it, blurts out stuff they shouldn't say in front of you, legitimately considers you a friend

Ravenclaw: makes sure you eat vegetables every day, can't say no to "one more book before bedtime", best storyteller, gives great advice, makes you write apology letters when you've wronged someone, corrects your grammar, wants to learn everything about whatever you are interested in, answers every question with the truth in an age appropriate way

Hufflepuff: makes the best food, gives the warmest hugs, designates your house as the official place to hang out, adopts your friends, good listener, might scold you easily but forgives easily too, throws huge birthday parties, insists that you write thank you cards, won't sit down until everybody has everything they want and need

Slytherin: uses reverse psychology, family comes first, encourages you to follow tradition, knows all of your tells, doesn't yell when they are mad but that's even scarier, displays every award you've ever received, brags a bit about your accomplishments but still always pushes you to do better, is not above bribing or threatening you, would lie, cheat, or kill for you