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Chapter 6
[Sad] [I took the cigarette to my mouth as I slowly inhaled the smoke. I closed my eyes when I felt the murderous smoke warming my lungs. "Mom and dad would be mad," I turn around to see my brother leaning on the doorway.
"Look I'm fine," I say rolling my eyes at him. "No you're not, I know what's happening and I know about your health state." He says holding a paper i got from my doctor a month or so ago. "Clay, where did you get that? Are you going through my room," I say angry as I try to snatch the paper from his hands.
"You'll die if you continue," He says as tears start to form in his eyes. "No I won't. It's just a stupid paper don't trust this," I say finally grabbing the paper in his hands. "How did you even get the doctor to not send this to mom or dad," He says.
"Cause I'm perfectly fine, you have other things to worry about. Example the weirdo in your room." I yell at him. "Well, you are my sister and I care about you." He screams at me, this time the tears in my eyes started forming. It was true, what was on that paper.
My body in general Is really fragile and sensitive, the smoking triggers my lungs and there's a 80% chance I'll get lung cancer if I don't quit. I'm aware of that. "You know what, do what you want!" He yells at me one more time before returning to his room. I close the door and I return to my cigarette.
I do like smoking, I actually adore doing it, but there's one thing I love more than that. My life, I do want to live but I can't just quit its not that easy. I sigh as I look at the unfinished cigarette. I took one more pull and after that I turn it off and throw it out of the window.
Day 2
I stayed home again, I feel actually sick. My head is hurting, and I'm feeling like throwing up. It was a mistake to get all cuddly with the homeless guy. Clay left for school, same like mom and dad for work.
I started coughing like crazy. "Maybe Clay's right,"Justin says opening the door slowly." Nah I'm fine, "I say as I reach for the tissues on my nighttable. "You don't sound fine," He says stepping closer to my bed.
"I don't need you to lecture me what's wrong and what's not, you are basically a whole ass dr-" I stopped myself before I could say anything. "I'm addicted, okay?" I roll my eyes at him. He chuckles a little."Im addicted too," He says as he sits on the chair which was next to my bed.
I sit up on my bed. "He told me everything." Justin says as he brings the chair closer to my bed. I slowly looked down, the feeling of sadness taking over me. "You okay?" His soft yet raspy voice says as I wipe the tears from my eyes.
"You know what, let's just watch a movie," I say as he nods. "Come here," I say with a small smile as I move to the other side of my bed. It's pretty huge so there's no problem. I took my remote as he sits next to me.
"Which movie are we watching?" He asks as I shot him a smirk. "I don't like this look," He replies with a small smile. "Lion king, what did you think. You perv!" I say jokingly as his smile grew bigger In the same second. "Are we really watching lion King?" He says as I giggle. "I was just joking, we are watching Stanger Things, the second season cus my ass forgot to watch it this fall." I say shrugging as he gives me a glare.
"What did you think I'm gonna watch 50 shades of grey with you?" I say teasingly, he looks away and then looks at me with an awkward yet funny look. "Well my ex never wanted to watch it with me," He says as I face palm myself. "Dude, I don't blame her. Way to much boobies. Just watch porn instead,"I say as I turn Stranger things on.
"This is so uncomfortable," I say as I try to find a perfect position. "I'm also uncomfortable," He says. A second passes before he speaks up again. "Let's cuddle, shit that sounded so weird," I stare at him with a strange look on my face.
"I'm sorry, I just miss Jess. And I haven't cuddled in a while. Gosh this is so embarrassing." He says as I take his arm and wrap it around me. "I'll gladly cuddle, but beacuse I miss my ex too," I say as he looks down at me.
"Two broken souls trying to collide and find peace, so cliche," He says jokingly but in a flirty tone. "What's gotten into you? You are so out of character today." I say jokingly. "I was just joking." He says in an embarrassed tone.
It was so relaxing, we talked about random things during the episodes and I payed no attention to the TV show in front of me. I forgot about most of my problems, I felt so relaxed and happy even without the cigarettes.]
