Nobody Was There. | Dear Evan Hansen | Tree bros

i wish everything was different

September 18, 2017

Evan wasn't sure why he acted the way he did with Connor. Maybe his lack of sleep made him want to do things he wouldn't normally do, or maybe he just really wanted to talk to Connor.

He had been getting these tiny moments of confidence lately. He wondered if that was because he knew he enjoyed the time he spent with Connor, and it was possible that Connor felt the same.

Evan didn't want to get his hopes up, and it wasn't a difficult task. After the two walked to school together, they sat at the same table during lunch. This, however, was just a repeat of the beginning of the day, when it was not easy for the two to communicate to each other.

Still, Evan was relieved because he knew it could have gone much worse.

After these uncomfortable events throughout the day, Evan lay on his bed, contemplating something that could either change his life or cause him embarrassment that he wouldn't forget about until the day he died.

He was trying to decide whether or not to text Zoe. He had been doing that ever since Jared gave him her number. Just the thought of what could happen made him nervous. Still, Evan didn't understand why Zoe would ask to talk to him of all people.

He didn't have time to consider that, because he was already sending the message. He waited for a reply but got none. He started to worry if this was all some joke to humiliate him. The worries didn't end quickly. They never did.

Evan spent the rest of that night alone, having a panic attack that made him feel like he was dying, and not being able to go to sleep for the third night in a row.

If only everything were different.