Pause, Replay

Ten

Dear Diary,

Kara called today. I was busy helping my mom with dinner, dicing onions and making sure what was on the stove didn't burn, when the phone rang. We ignored it, figuring it was those annoying telemarketers since nobody really called us on our landline anymore, but then Dad answered.

He came into the kitchen, sleeves rolled up, the phone in one hand and a newspaper turned to the crosswords puzzle page in the other. "It's for you." His arked eyebrow and perplexed expression almost made me laugh. It's true that I hadn't been the most outgoing person since Sloane's death but still. It wasn't like I was some antisocial chick with no friends. I had Patrick. And Kara--well, sort of.

I rinsed my hands, wiped them off then took the phone. "Hello?" I tried my best to sound professional and polite in case this was something important.

"Hey," Kara said.

"Um, who is this?"

"Kara," she laughed and I felt silly.

"Hi," I was in my room now so I pushed in the door in a little and turned on the radio. Knowing my overprotective parents, they'd probably be hovering at the door, eavesdropping, and I didn't want that.

We hadn't talked since lunch this week--unless you counted the occasional hellos and nods in the hallway, which I did not--so her call sent me into a speechless stupor. Plus, I couldn't believe she still had my number. I mean, I still had hers, but that was because I was a neat freak. I kept all my contacts in a little Moleskine notebook that I kept in an old shoe box under my bed. Somehow, it was hard to imagine Kara doing that.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi." I didn't no what else to say.

"Hey," she said again then giggled.

"What's so funny?" I asked. Maybe she was watching a YouTube video? She used to do that a lot back when we were friends. Watch funny videos while we're on  the phone, I mean. It may sound rude, but really it wasn't. She'd find a hilarious video and then attempt to describe it to me, but she'd never get to the end without bursting into another laughing fit. So then I'd have to look it up and then on the count of three, we'd press Play and watch the video at the same time, laughing at the funny bits together. Thinking back, it was kind of lame, but I really miss those times. Everything was much more simple.

"Nothing."

Another giggle fit.

"What?"

"Nothing!"

And another.

"Okay, I'm hanging up now," I warned.

"Wait! I'm sorry. It's just that we just said 'hi', like, four times in a row. And we've been friends forever. I just found it funny that we were so awkward."

"Oh."

"Anyway. I was wondering if you wanted to do something today?"

"Today? It's seven. My parents won't let me out."

"Even on a Friday?"

"Yep."

"Tomorrow then?"

"Okay. What did you have in mind?"

"Movies!" she cheered. "I want to go see that kid movie."

"Yes!" I surprised myself with my enthusiasm, but I hadn't seen a kid movie in years. Sloane didn't like them and it wasn't like I had an assortment of movie buddies to chose from except her and Patrick.

"Okay, so you'll come over around eleven?"

"Why?" The word came out before I could contain it and it stayed there, hanging uneasily between us.

"To...hang out?" she offered hesitantly.

"Oh." Whenever Sloane and I went out, we always met up where we were going. If we were going shopping, we met up at the mall. If we were planning on watching a movie, we met up at the movies and bought our tickets together. There was no before activity. Sure, she'd been to my house a few times for school projects or whatever, but I'd never been to her house. She'd never invited me and I'd never found it weird. It was just the way our friendship was.

And I'd spent such a long time absorbed in it that I'd forgotten those times. The times my mom would drive me over to Kara's for sleepovers or the times Kara would come over just for the fun of it. The Sloane Way had become the Normal Way for me and I hadn't even realized it.

As I write this, I think: How sad is that?

Awkwardly, Jay

NEXT chapter is Jara (Jaïya+Kara) bonding time PLUS they discuss Eleanor. Please vote and comment, it really makes me happy!!!

I've got a MAJOR favor to ask you guys :3

Could you pretty please check out my new story The Boomerang Effect? It's gpt four chapters up and I update pretty fast. It's in the external link for those of you not using mobile :)  Here's the summary:

Sometimes love isn't enough.

Here are Alicia and Ethan at the start of junior year.

Perfectly happy, utterly in love.

Here is Alicia again, one year later.

Perfectly heartbroken, perfectly confused.

Because Ethan killed himself and left her feeling utterly alone.

Amanda xo