Pause, Replay

Nine

Dear Diary,

(Hey, I just realized this is the first time I made two entries in one day. Well, it's also the first time I've been asked to participate in murder.)

Flight or fight.

They say that in certain situations, we always have one of these two reactions.

I'm not proud to say this, but my initial reaction to Eleanor's request was flight. I mean, let's face it, as a jobless seventeen year-old, I didn't have a lot of money. And the money I did have was saved up for big occasions like Ed Sheeran's next album. Not to finance shady abortions for teenage girls.

But as Eleanor waited, my selfishness spiralled into guilt. I couldn't not help her. That was simply inhuman.

But by helping her wasn't I encouraging her? I mean, next time she made a similar mistake, wouldn't she just expect me to get her out of it? To drop all my hypothetical (and non-existent) plans to come to her rescue? Maybe I shouldn't help her. Maybe I should let her fix her own mistakes.

These two opposing thoughts were playing a dangerous game of tug-and-war in my mind as Eleanor's breaths began coming in great gasps, as if she were hyperventilating.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, just trying to not cry." Her voice quivered. "My parents will kill me if they find out."

"Who's the dad?" I blurted. It had never occurred to me before that another kid's life was ruined in this baby debacle, but now, for some reason, it seemed like a very logical question.

"He doesn't know. I don't want to get him involved in this."

"Is it your boyfriend?" I'd poked around her Facebook recently and I'd seen many smiling photos of her and a red-haired boy with captions such as True love conquers all or Our love is infinite.

She took in a sharp breath. "No."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"Look, are you going to help me or not?" She seemed annoyed and in other circumstances, I would have yelled at her for giving me attitude, but I just shrugged it off because I figured she was trying to stay strong and not fall apart. It was sad to think that instead of being a normal 15 year old girl, she was currently a teen mom. Where will she find the money if I don't help her? What kind of future will her baby have(if she managed to give birth to it)?

Suddenly, my choice was made. I nodded, then, realizing she couldn't see me, croaked out a "Yeah."

"Oh my god, you're a lifesaver," I could hear the smile in her voice. Then, she said, "Okay, so I looked it up and an abortion is about one thousand dollars--"

"What?" The word left my lips before I could contain it. I didn't expect it to cost so much--five hundred max, to be honest.

"I know, but I already have five hundred put aside, so you only need to get the rest. Plus, I'm a little over one month pregnant already and you can only abort a kid under--well, I forgot--but basically you have about two weeks before I go into the city," she said everything calmly, as if she'd been prepared for my reaction.

I started calculating things in my head.

Okay, so I had about two hundred dollars left over from Eid, a few pennies and quarters in my wallet but nothing else. How was I supposed to make three hundred bucks in such short notice?

Gosh, I was screwed.

Panicked, Jay

A/N

So! I have a big smile on my face right now eventhough this chapter sucked, because it's the NINTH chapter! Those of you who have been with me since the beginning know that most of my stories never reach this far or if they do, it's after a year! 

Seriously, it's so weird because most of these chapters are even longer than chapters from my old stories.

Anyhoo, onto the questions.

-How do you think Jay will raise the money?

-Should she even be raising money?

-Who do you think should help her raise the money? Kara or Pat?

Don't forget to vote and comment!

Amanda xo