The Conflicted

10. (Part Two)

Abel
1:00a.m.

I laid on the couch on my stomach and my left arm was hanging off holding a bottle of vodka.

I was completely hysterical. From the time I left the club, to now, I've been drinking non-stop and it's only been getting worse for me.

I didn't understand how she could be on my mind like this, I forgot about her plenty of times and why couldn't I now?

Of all times, why couldn't my brain just let me rest and leave me alone from all of this emotional distress?

My heart fucking throbbed for her.

"Nonie." I sobbed.

I sobbed her name for at-least over an hour. Tears were streaming down my face and each time they dried up, a new set would replace those within seconds.

I mean I felt absolutely pitiful, because after hours of crying, I thought I would've ran out of tears, but I haven't and it was pointless to keep wiping them away when they would just reappear.

After a few seconds of sitting there in silence and hearing nothing but my whimpering, I reached in my back pocket and pulled out two pills.

"Blues away, I got two red pills to take the blues away.." I mumbled despairingly.

As I brought each pill to my mouth, about to wash them down with the rest of my liquor, a knock sounded at the door.

I jerked my attention towards the noise.

I laid there for a second before dragging myself towards it to open it, but not until I put the pills back into my back pocket.

I unlocked the door and cracked it to see who it was and my eyes landed on Nonie immediately.

She was staring at me with so much intensity.

I quickly wiped my eyes and rid the tears away before I looked at her again to make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me.

"May I come in?" She asked, softly.

I didn't speak. I just opened the door further open and stood to the side as I watched her enter through before closing it.

I wiped my eyes again and sniffled.

We both sat on the couch and she looked around at my mess. There were wrappers and empty liquor bottles scattered on the table.

The room was filled with silence and I could feel the tears started to reappear. I wiped my eyes and sniffled again.

I was the first to break the silence, "Why are you here Nonie?" I asked barely above a whisper.

If I had spoke any louder, my voice would've cracked.

"I just came to apologize for how I acted earlier." She said, biting her lip and looking past me.

"I find that hard to believe." I said lowly.

She looked at me like I had two heads. I analyzed her closely and then looked back into her eyes.

It was quiet and a minute passed before she looked passed me again.

"If you don't want my apology Abel, then fine. Forget it." She said, still sitting on the couch.

"That's not all you came for Nonie, we both know that." I said, chuckling slightly.

"What the fuck are you implying? That I came here for sex? Is that what the fuck you're implying?" She retorted.

"Hey you better look at the facts girl, you came to my crib. It's one in the morning and you walk up in here wearing them short ass shirts, that spaghetti strapped shirt without a bra, and a light jacket just to give me that short ass apology." I said, staring at her intensely and scooting closer to her.

I watched her chest heave slowly.

"A small apology that you could've just sent me in a text?" I added.

She was so quiet. I started to feel less upset and more relaxed.

I started to trail my index finger on her bare thigh and I watched her shudder under my touch with her eyes closed.

"You miss me, don't you?" I asked softly.

She shook her head no.

"You're telling me no, but your body is telling me yes." I said seductively.

I inched my hand closer and closer towards the lining of her shorts and she didn't even make an effort to stop me.

As soon as I began to tug on the waist band she opened her eyes and smacked my hand away before standing.

"Goddamn it Abel, I didn't come here to have sex with you!" She said annoyed, but most likely with herself.

"Don't yell at me when it's your body betraying you." I said staring at her.

"I hate you Abel, I knew this was a mistake. Just stay the hell away from me." She said before trying to walk past me.

I quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

"If you hate me like you say you do, then let me put myself between your legs and not between your heart." I smirked.

"Why the fuck do you even think I'd allow that?" She asked angrily.

"Because I know I can make you weak to your fucking knees." I said straightforwardly.

She huffed angrily and tried leaving again. I grabbed her and stared into her eyes.

"And because I don't want to hurt you." I added sincerely.

"Why the fuck can't you just leave me alone Abel? All you do is hurt me." She trailed off.

"Because your love is something toxic and I'll poison myself again and again 'til I feel nothing in my goddamn soul." I said.

She started to cry.

"And I want you to stay, even though you don't want me." I said, sadly.

When I said that, her crying stopped and she looked at me with the tears still draining down her face.

She was quiet and I was confused as to why she was just staring at me.

"Who said anything about not wanting you?" She asked and her voice cracked.

My heart stopped when the words rolled of her tongue and I watched her as she started to approach me.

In a matter of seconds our lips crashed together hungrily and I felt that hole fill up in the pit of my stomach.

I cupped her face and deepened the kiss while my tears streamed down the sides of my cheeks.

I just missed her so much and I was so happy and relieved that I could hold her in my hands again.

She was my precious little diamond once again.

Comment & Vote!

XO.