His sister (magcon fanfiction)

Chapter 37

Samantha's P.O.V

She was a relentless person and I couldn't listen to another minute. I'm glad Jack shut her up. She didn't bother us the rest of the dinner and I couldn't be happier, well as happy as I can be. Currently we are getting into the car. I'm leaning onto the window arm rest type thing and I'm just thinking. Letting thoughts flow in and out of my brain freely. Maybe it's not the best idea because some of these thoughts are depressing.

"Babe, can you talk to me?" I hear Shawn whisper in my in ear a concerned voice.

"Please, are you okay?" He pleads. I feel awful about not answering I just don't want anyone to feel bad for me. I hate pity or being the center of attention in a bad way or a good way. That's why I hate performing. If I have to get up in front of people, afterwards I won't speak to anyone because I feel like I've done something wrong. And when something embarrassing or it's something where I cry, I won't speak or really move because I feel emotionally drained. It's how I cope with difficult situations. It's also a mental block. I punish myself for being an attention hog or causing an issue. Of course nobody knows that except me because it's not like I can go up to Jack about it because it'll worry him. It's a vicious cycle because if I tell him about that I'll feel like I'm taking more attention and it's starts over again. It's really an issue.

"We're back at the hotel." I look at everyone exiting the car and I follow everyone out and I grab my once perfect dress. That dress means a lot to me, like a lot because it was the last present my mom ever bought me. Once she wasn't the prime caretaker of me she stopped caring. Now I get that it is because she signed me off to Jack. She actually cared a little for me back then and I love this dress. I wouldn't tell anyone that though, I'm not even sure Jack realized it was like a 'sorry here is the last present you'll ever get from me and I'm not really sorry' gift.

"Guys you can go up, I need to talk to Sammy." Jack tells everyone while pulling me aside.

"I'm sorry." He spits out and I'm now confused like so much confusion.

"Jack why are you sorry? I should be sorry, I cause all these conflicts and issues in your life. If I wasn't here your life would be normal. You could go be with dad anytime, you could be on this tour enjoying your time without having me as a burden, and you would fine."

"No, I wouldn't be fine."

"Yeah you would. In the great scheme of things you can survive without me, but I can't survive without you."

"Please don't think like that. I wouldn't be okay without you. Who would I have to piss me off when you do something stupid, who would I have to be witty and sarcastic, who would I have to call me an idiot and reprimand me when I do a crappy thing, who would I have? Who would I have to fill the bedroom up the stairs and three doors to the left? There would have nothing, nobody blasting music, nobody screaming at the tv when Cedric dies, and most importantly nobody to me my little sister." I wrapped him in the biggest hug and cried.

"And I'm sorry for exposing you to everything. I'm especially sorry that girl spilled stuff on the dress mom gave you."

"What, how did you know that?"

"You think that when she signed you off to me I didn't realize the missing Christmas, Easter, and birthday presents? I did and I felt bad that they gave me stuff and not you. I used to make sure they didn't give me more presents than you would get." That one made me cry some more.

"I love you Jack."

"I love you too sissy." He stands up and I stand up as well while wiping my eye make up that is more than likely running.

"Can I stay by you tonight I miss you?" I ask as we get I the elevator.

"Sure, but if I were you I would have fun explaining it to Shawn."

"How am I going to tell him? I don't want him to think I hate him."

"Just come to my room and I'll give you a shirt and pair of pants. I'll tell him okay?"

"Thank you." I really like Shawn, but I just want my brother.

"Everyone's coming to our room anyway to hang, so I can talk to him then too." I nod and follow him to his room.

"Sammy entering!" Jack jokes. I follow him as he walks over to his bed.

"There's my little bug, whatcha doing here?"

"She's gonna sleep in here tonight." Jack explains looking for a shirt and bottoms for me. He hands me them and I walk into the bathroom and change. The shirt isn't too long, but it's still huge on me and I had to roll the shorts a few times. I look at my face and only a little mascara ran. I take a wet washcloth and take off all my makeup before walking back into the room. I see Jack sitting on his bed and Sammy on the couch. I walk over and sit next to Jack and he pulls me into a hug.

"The guys are coming over now." Sammy announces.

"I told Shawn for you, but he probably wants answers."

"I know, I probably worried him and upset him. He kept asking me if I was okay, but I didn't answer.

"I'm here!" Hayes takes a running leap and lands on the bed I'm on. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and I laugh.

"My best fwand." He says in a weird childish voice while saying friend with a type of lisp.

"Sure." I laugh some more and he lets go and takes a seat on the other bed. I notice Aaron also came in and is sitting on a chair.

"I have arrived!" That was Nash and now I'm seeing the resemblance between him and Hayes. They both need to make an entrance. Shawn walked behind him and has Atticus in his hand. He walked over and handed it to me before going to sit on the couch. I looked at Jack and he gave me a look and I knew I had to go talk to him.

"Shawn, can I talk to you in the hallway?" I asked while walking over to him.

"Yea sure c'mon." We walked into the hallway as Matt, Carter, Cameron, and Taylor walked past us.

"So, I thought I should explain um I guess everything." I take a deep breathe before continuing.

"Well the reason I didn't speak to anyone is because when attention is on me or I've done something that caused an issue I punish myself. I don't like other people to know this though, so you're the only one who knows this. I don't talk because I feel that if I talk I bother people or am an annoyance. The reason I didn't answer you was also because I feel emotionally drained and I was too tired to even comprehend the situation. And I know by doing this I scared you and made you think I'm mad at you, which I'm not. I'm sorry." I look down because I can't even bring myself to look at him.

"I understand, but why didn't you come back to our room?"

"Oh, I missed explaining that part. Well when me and Jack were talking something's were said between us and I miss him. I just wanted to be alone and I'm just shaken up because there is a lot more of an issue involving that outfit than it seems."

"I understand." He pulls me into a huge hug and kisses my forehead.

"Thanks for being the best boyfriend ever and tolerating the mess I am."

"You are most definitely not someone I tolerate because every moment with you is cherished. I don't have to tolerate you because you don't bother me and your stuff doesn't bother me either."

"Thanks, ready to go back in?"

"Yeah, let's go." He goes to walk and I pull his wrist back.

"You okay?"

"Yeah I just have a question, why'd you bring Atticus?"

"You don't think I've seen you cuddled up with that thing all the time. You sleep with it every night, I knew you would miss him."