Chim - Don't Help Me

Chapter 4

No control, I'm not even controlling where I'm going, running, my legs are moving instinctively, pounding the pavement almost as frantically as my heart beats my chest. As I finally reach my destination, I freeze in my spot. She's not here. Why isn't she here? The dim street lights are no help through the thick fog, I can barely make out the railings lining the side of the bridge. And that's when I hear it.

"Kimba-Kimberley?"

"Hey babe, I'm here. Where are you?"

"Over here, near the railing."

I follow her voice and make my way towards the lining, but she's not near the railing, no, her tiny figure is perched atop the railing, her feet resting on the rungs below her.

"I couldn't find it." Immediately knowing my presence, she doesn't even care for her own predicament.

"What? Do you need help? Let me help you down bab-"

"Phone. I couldn't find me phone."

Whilst saying this she lets go of the bar with one hand, pointing down to the metal framework metres below.

"It could be down there, if I just-"

"No. There is no way you are going down there. Please come back over."

"I'm just sittin here, Kim, I need me phone, it's not like I'm jumping or nothin."

"Please, you're scaring me."

"Oh you're scared? Seriously, you think you know scared?"

She is trying to sound menacing, but throught the front I can feel her vunrability, in my eyes it may as well be a dark cloud looming over her, consuming every morsel of strength that she ever had.

"Kimberley, you don't know scared. Scared is when you can't even go to the one person you truly loved, terrified of their presence. Scared is when you are afraid of your own family, ya blood. Scared is when a knock on the door makes you jump in your seat. Scared is when a silly camera intimidates you. Scared is when you can't even look at your own reflection. Worst of all, scared, is when you know that there is noone in the world you can trust. That is scared."

"Do I scare you?" She giggles a little in response.

"No Kimberley, you don't scare us, I scare myself."

As much as this confession plucks at my heartstrings, I realise something, she is opening up.

"Then please, come back off of that railing and let me help you."

"What makes you think I need your help?"

She looks me straight into the eye, and then her face crumbles, suddenly realising exactly how messed up this all is.

"I'm sorry, I must have freaked you out then."

Her feet finally hit the safety of the pavement and I scramble over to her, swiftly taking her hand in mine.

"It's ok babe, you're ok. One thing though, please talk to me before you run off like that, I want to be able to help you."

"Don't help us, don't help me, not like that, just be here. As strange as it sounds, I want to trust you, I don't want to be scared anymore Kimba."

"What did you just call me? Kimba?"

"Aye, I thought you should habe a nickname, everyone needs a nickname, I 've been called Ch- ah, I've had a nickname me whole life." I was so close, I decide not to push her.

"Kimba it is then."

We begin to walk back to my apartment, still hand in hand, when she remembers something,

"Me phone, ah, not again."

"Hush babe, we'll sort it out in the morning, I promise."

With that,she bows her head, and not a word is spoken for the entire trip back.

______________

"I could use a cuppa after that walk."

I break the silence first, as she plonks herself down on the settee.

"Aye, who knew it was so far?"

Deciding that idle chit-chat wasn't the way forward, I walk into the kitchen and turn the kettle on, also turning on the mini tv on the counter, adjacent to the living room where she is sitting.

"I'm going to whip up a couple of sandwiches, you want one?"

"I don't think I'm up for that."

"How about some biscuits then, to go with your tea?"

"Oooh maybe, sorry for bein annoying."

"Nonsense, ah hang on, I haven't got any biscuits at the moment, let me check my fridge."

I open my fridge to find an assortment of bars.

"I have chocolate bars, kind of unhealthy...'

"Ooh which ones?"

"Gah, HEAPS, I got Curlywurly's-"

"Aye, they're me favourite, how did ya know?"

"Ah, I didn't. Here you go."

I walk to where she is sitting and hand her her prized chocolate bar, trying to figure out where I had heard someone say that line before.

I pick up a knife to start making myself a sandwich as the tv sounds in the background. I somewhat register a voice talking as the entertainment news comes on.

"In entertainment news, Cheryl Cole has arrived back in London after a two week..."

My neck almost snaps as I turn my head to look at the picture emitted by the television, confirming what I already knew. And then it hits me,

"Fuck me! You're Cheryl Cole!"