In which I help you with cover tips, writing tips, rant about Sirius Black (Better known as my husband) and make Banana Pancakes to help everyone get through 2018.
Okay, I'm in the middle of planning a big heartfelt speech for 1k but there's a problem, I'm bad at being heartfelt and keep watching finding myself watching that stupid Tom/Harry love story (or this Lazytown version of the 13 reasons why trailed WHICH REALLY WORKS) instead. So, I came across another one of those things I overheard as Harry Potter and decided to make another one to pass the time.
You get bonus points in my imaginary game if you can figure out which ones were me.
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Peter: You know, Prongs, everything's going to think you're really weird when you leave Hogwarts if you keep talking like that, nobody will talk to you
James: Don't know why you look so happy about that, I'm the group extrovert, if I go down, you're all coming with me
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Marlene: You know, I'm basically lesbian catnip
Lily: ... don't say it
Marlene: I attract the pussy
Dorcas: That's not fair, I'm actually gay and don't get any, stop hogging it!
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Remus (to Lily) : I really like your shirt today, it really suits you
Lily: Th -
Sirius: I know right?
Remus: ...
Remus: I love you, you fucking scrape
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James: Moony, you totally crushed it in that quiz!
Remus: Aw, you helped too!
James: Mate, I answered one question, sassed you all out loudly to impress Lily and then ate all of the crisps, I'm not pretending here
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Remus: So I was reading a conspiracy theory on organ harvesting yesterday -
Lily: WHAT?
Remus: What?
Lily: I was reading a conspiracy theory on that too
Remus:
Remus: I think we've discovered a new conspiracy theory
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Marlene: Glandular fever is spread by sharing food ... we all shared my apple cider! You're all screwed!
James: Ha, not me
Marlene: Yeah but it can be spread by kissing too so you could get it from Lily (suddenly remembers their not officially together yet) ... or ... or Sirius
James: Why Sirius?!
Sirius: *wiggles eyebrows*
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(It was literally like this and I still laugh about it to this day. Sadly I was not the sassy one. I was the health risk)
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Remus: Hey Padfoot, when we leave school will you come to quiz nights with me?
Sirius: As long as you're done with breaking into people's gardens, partying and general mayhem
Remus: I think I can manage that
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Sirius: Hey you know what would be fun? Creating false identities, meeting strangers and seeing how long we can pull it off?
James: YES!
Sirius: You know I was expecting a lot more resistance but fuck it, let's do this!
James: Cool, I'll be a suave ditsy Athlete by day, chess enthusiast by night called Shirley - "
Sirius: Okay, you're officially off the plan
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Dorcas: For exams, I like to secretly cheat, like put a little 'Pi' symbol on my upper thigh so it's hidden by my skirt
Lily: But aren't you worried that the examiner will see?
Dorcas: If the examiner's looking at my bare upper thigh, I reckon I'm getting that O either way, don't you?
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Peter: You know what I want to do? Wear something really smart that breaks the dress code and wear something really un-smart that follows it
Remus: This could be fun, let's see what we're working with, no straps, bare shoulders, no open-toed shoes, no butts -
James: I've got it! For un-smart but follows it, a bin bag with closed toe sandals
Sirius: And for smart but breaks it, a tuxedo with a crotch hole!
Peter: NO!
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(Whilst camping for some context here)
Sirius: You know what? This sucks, we lit out cooking stove on fire, we're getting bitten to death by midges and now our tent's soggy, I like finer things in life
Remus: Then do something about it!
Sirius: You're right ... step one, I seduce a farmer's daughter. Step two, I go and sleep in the house. Step three, that's it. There are all the steps, goodbye
