In which I help you with cover tips, writing tips, rant about Sirius Black (Better known as my husband) and make Banana Pancakes to help everyone get through 2018.
Okay, so over the last few days I start writing at like ten and finish at three because I'm a lazy person who gets stuck watching Call me Kevin but today I actually have a good reason and that is I got involved in a real life scheme and I am still so fucking excited.
So basically my sister is very gay as well as a crazy sporty, introverted, blonde with green eyes and infinitely cooler than I will ever be whereas I am a blue eyed, brunette, extroverted nerd so in a sit com we wouldn't get on but in real life, we get on like 99% of the time and she is one of my best friends.
So I was about to start writing like an hour ago and she's just lurking outside my room like some green-eyed ghost (I'm very jealous of my eyes, she is Lily Evans and I am Petunia except not awful) so I was like 'You good, Jess?' and she just kind of goes silent before saying;
"Effie, I think I'm going to just going to grab Mum and come out to her and then lock myself in the bathroom."
She came out to me about a year and a half ago but this is a girl who said she might never come out to our parents so I'm a little bit shook and just stood there. In the space of about ten seconds, she decided the bathroom is not drastic enough and she needs to leave the house. So then we decided she would write a note, leave it for our parents to find and then just run away. As I am the author of the family as well and she prefers drawing (Gonna get her to draw my fanart one of these days lol), she just looks at me so end up dictating part of the note to her.
Anyway, she then decides that she would rather just leave whilst I give them the note so she leaves the house and is just lurking outside and because I am very bad at hiding things, I sort of snuck in, and really awkwardly left the note before bolting out and shouting the first thing that comes to mind which was 'We're out to get Pringles.'
So once that's done we just slam the door and bolt for like the next few roads and I want to let her take the lead even though I stupidly wore heels and can't run for more than a mile. Anyway, she slows down and is just freaking out and I'm trying to calm her down saying that they'll be lovely to her either way, it's just a case of whether they'll awkwardly ask her about her type or some shit. To calm her down we actually buy Pringles and then she gets nervous so we walk the block a couple of times.
Then I realise I forgot my keys so her plan of just sneaking in isn't going to work and she's starting to freak out and then she just gets a single text from our Dad saying 'I love you." It's all ridiculously sweet so we go back with a half eaten box of Pringles which we can use as an excuse to leave if needed.
Anyway, we finally get home and our Dad opens the door and hugs her for ages and says how brave she is and how he still loves her, it doesn't change anything. And then everyone starts crying and then my Mum hugs her and she goes and lies on her bed for ages. So now she's just lying there smiling and eating pringles and telling all her friends and she told me I could tell whoever I wanted so I'm just telling everyone (with her permission of course) because I was finally in a scheme and honestly, I can't think of a better one than that.
Yeah, so that was intense but she looks ridiculously happy and I'm happy and now we have pringles in the house.
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Plus my Mum is keeping the note as a memento and is very attached to it already so I reckon it will be one of her keepsakes for life.
Anyway, this has been a very great if bizarre week for us. She found out two girls had a crush on her and went on a tandem for the first time. Then this was very odd for me too as, on Saturday my Dad (we have different dads so it's a different one now) came in at like eleven wearing a kilt and a bunch of earrings. Then I acquired a communist jacket which I wore out and went on a static protest and stood on a wall to yell about NHS cuts. Last night I broke into a garden yesterday with my friend (and the jacket) and sat there having deep chats with my friend and most recently I have got stuck in a prank war. I am ridiculously excited you guys - E x
