Make Banana Pancakes | HELP, RANTS ETC.

Why, Harrymort, why?!

NOPE, NOPE, NOPE! I don't like this (I hate it more than Snily but less than Snamione, I'll be honest here) and for some reason I keep getting suggested fics for like WATTPAD, THIS IS WHAT I DON'T WANT, HOW DID YOU GET IT SO WRONG??? I like Jily and sweet things, not rape smut.

I have literally found one incident where Harrymort didn't give me creeped out shivers down my spine and that was a like parody trailer which I thought was hilarious.

(Half of my friends hate it and the other half piss themselves laughing, I'm somehow simultaneously both?)

Okay, like at a very basic level, Voldemort is like 70? He's a fucking seventy year old man and Harry is literally a teenager, that means there is literally a 55 year old age difference. I saw somebody somewhere seriously say, Voldemort fancied Harry SINCE HE WAS A BABY? WHAT EVEN IS THIS SHIP? I AM NOT HAPPY

Also all of the fics seem to be really creepy smut? My fandom friend showed me one and we literally wanted to wash our eyes with bleach before. A lot of them seem to be paedophilic and rapey and one time they shagged in front of the Dursleys? Just why? WHY WHY WHY?

I also saw a few where like Harry teaches Voldemort to love but he literally can't? Like I think he could have been taught to love if somebody had showed him it when he was younger but by the time Harry was around, he was pretty far gone. It feels a bit like a hyped up version of Drarry, to be honest, as I know that people like to ship the antagonist and the protagonist but Harrymort, in my opinion, takes this a bit far.

The only time I can see this working is if Harry went WAY back in time and changed him from the beginning but that would take a hell of a lot of time turns and I don't see Harry doing that. Only then can I see it working for me, as they would both be younger but even around Tom's Hogwarts era, he was pretty far gone and there was no turning back so this whole ship just unnerves me a bit.

To be honest, Voldemort with anyone in his later life just feels odd. I just don't think anyone, least of all Harry could teach him how to love. If he did date people, it was probably very manipulative and messed up and when you're a Dark Lord seeking immortality, who has the time? Like with Bellatrix, I think he was aware of her loyalty and devotion but I can't see him as ever having done more with her, I just think it probably didn't interest him...

... What was I talking about again?

Sorry, this has been completely incoherent, I'm just a little shaken from Harrymort suggestions and what is a rant book for anyway - E x