His Life After Death | ✓

Chapter Eight

After that deep message that The Lord wanted to share with me, I couldn't help but lay down on the floor as I cried out all the tears of my body. I cried to the point of not even being able to breath anymore.

I remember how I used to look into the mirror when I was on earth and tell myself again and again that no matter how much the pain was strong, no matter how much my heart was broken, I was a man. And a man shall not cry. Yet in HIS presence, I understood how terribly my heart could be broken. So, so broken to the point of bringing tears to my eyes.

A river of endless tears.

My voice trembled and broke many times. I tried to look at Him again, feeling so stupid! How could I let the pleasures of this world separate me from His endless love? How could I possibly think that the world could satisfy my heart? I was so stupid that I let sin control me. I let my needs control my whole life and not The Word of justice of God.

I was feeding my flesh more than my soul, and that's exactly why the desires of my flesh were dominating my life.

Now all I could do was accept my sentence and suffer for what I've done in my life. These 'little sins' like I used to call them, forgetting that in the eyes of God all sins are equal, were the ones that were going to bring me to hell.

I was going to hell and I had to accept it. Because at the end of the day it was my fault and only mine.

The Lord, since the beginning gave us the opportunity to choose the path we wanted to follow. And I have chosen the wrong path and decided to walk into it. It is my fault and nobody else's.

When I was born, I was alone. When I started sinning, I still was alone. And now that I was going burn, I was still going to burn alone.

This is life.

Salvation is individual.

And I knew that very well.

Now all I wanted to know and ask Him was:

"What are you waiting for Lord? I already know my sentence. No need to make me wait here and suffer even more. Punish me like I deserve to be punished."

I told him through endless tears.

I tried to look back into His, now soft eyes. The most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. Those eyes that spoke more than tongues could. Those eyes I've always wanted to look into. Those eyes I thought I would be looking for eternity.

I looked at His hands. Filled with painful scars. Scars that He accepted to wear for me without shame.

I looked at His feet, traces of nails were there to prove what He has done for a sinner like me.

An ungrateful sinner like me.

I waited for His answer.

I waited for His final sentence.

Was He going to send me to Gehenna already now that the screen went blank?

I wondered.