A Symphony Of Darkness [WATTYS 2018 LONGLIST] [COMPLETE]

XXXII

I

walk up to the tree I cut down years ago.

It has grown again. Stronger.

That day, I did not have the strength to cut down the roots.

Maybe I was too weak to do so.

Maybe I was too weak to be able to forget you entirely.

Again, it all comes back to you.

Remember the shore? Where I tried to lose you once?

Wanting to have you is so much
pain, I

I thought I'll be able to leave you there, but

But I was wrong.

I see you sitting in the branches, dearest.

In your mud stained clothes, your hands and feet

Layered with cuts and scratches,

And twigs in your hair, you're beautiful.

Remember the rope? I did that to myself -

Tried to feel the pain of your loss- just

Just so that I can stop loving you.

I made up stories, lived in them, hoping

That I'll forget you.

Almost left you, and cut off my memories,

Just so that I can escape you.

But you're always there, aren't you?

In the shadows, in my dreams, in my heart, woven into my darkness, burned into my light.

You're always there.