Fragile Heart

Old Flames = Memories and Pain

Then i noticed the familiar road we were taking. It was the restaurant where my best friend and I went for the first time, the same place where I met the reason of my broken heart. My mind kept recalling the day we met. I have been in that state and failed to notice that he was calling my name announcing that we have arrived. I snapped back and he ask me if I was sleeping, i showed him a fake smile and nod my head in agreement. He placed his arms over my shoulder and draw me closer, as if saying through his action that I was his. He was all smiles when we entered the restaurant and asked a waiter if his favorite seat is available. Then all hell break loose when i saw a very familiar face sitting at a far corner holding a small box of what looks like a jewelry box. I froze for a moment and thought to myself, of all the days that I must see him, must it be today? When my heart is starting to forget him. Whats ironic is that Alexander chose the table where my best friend and I sat the last time. Alexander was talking whimsically to the waiter while I was just staring at him absentmindedly. He then suddenly called out my name and asked if I am ok, because i was spacing out. I just replied him a short "I was sleepy" then i heard him chuckle.

M: what?
Alexander: its just too cute.
Me: huh?
Alexander: because you look too tensed, is it because of me?

I just waved my hand and look away from him and stared in the city view. He suddenly grabbed my hands which was resting on the table.

Alexander: if you are tensed, don't be! Because you are with me, lets make this a night to remember.

I just said my sorry's and smiled back at him, though my heart and my mind is still with that guy i saw holding a piece of jewelry box and the endless what ifs (such a drama queen). What only made me forget about him was the food that was served by the waiter(such a glutton). After consuming so much food, I suddenly had the urge to take a piss. I told Alexander that Im heading to the comfort room and he told me not to take long, he doesn't want his date being kidnapped. I flashed him a devilish grin and left(after all that made my heart flutter and forget Stephen's existence). When i was finished relieving myself i went to wash my hands in the sink and noticed someone staring at me reflected in the mirror. I acted as if i didn't see him or know him. When i started walking away, i was suddenly grabbed and dragged to a cubicle and was held tight. I swear when i look up i saw in his eyes resentment, sadness, longing and pain or i was just imagining to have seen them. He opened his mouth and asked me "did you read it?" I was really clueless about what Stephen was talking about i responded in an agitated tone "read what? Is there any?" He suddenly let loose of his grip on me, I am sure i knew nothing of what he is talking about. He then turned his back on me and said "Im sorry to bother you, i know you are happy and have forgotten about me, I guess I am the one who's missing someone for nothing" after hearing those words, i was glued in place still trying to digest on what Stephen had told me. First what is there to read, second what does he mean with his statement? Anxiety soon took its course towards my mouth and as if it wasn't me talking.

M: F**k you! You have the audacity to tell me strange things when it was you and your brother who toyed with my emotions. F**k you for thinking so highly of yourself. Why do you always make me confuse! Go back to your pompous girl, aren't you gonna propose! Dont play dumb, i saw you holding a box and with the size of it I'm sure its a ring thats inside.

Having said all those, my tears cant help but trail down. I immediately wiped the tears and told him "this will be the last time, I'm going to admit that I ever fell in love with you" and left him there. I tried hard to contain my tears while i was going back to the table where Alexander was happily waiting for me. When he saw me sitting down he asked if i was ok, because i was a little red(maybe from holding back the tears and also the anger in my heart) i just told Alexander that I'm feeling nauseous and tired. He called for the waiter and signaled for the bill. When he was done paying he suddenly stood up to my side and guided me. Im sure in the corner someone witnessed this scene. I caught a glimpse of those eyes and acted as if no one was there. I reached for Alexander's hands and i could feel fiery eyes staring at me and just ignored it and walked hand in hand with Alexander. Pretending, holding back the emotions as I wore my sweetest smile as we exited the area. The entire ride i was silent and closed my eyes pretending to be asleep but in reality i was thinking of him. Why should i be thinking about him when someone here is with me. But i cant erase the yearning i have for him, the moment i saw those melancholic eyes, i just cant help but want to approach him and talk to him calmly. But all has been said and done, i have further dig another depth of distance between us.

We arrived at the subdivision gates when Alexander chose to stop and held my hand suddenly, startled as if waking up from deep sleep i looked at him questioning.

A: did i startle you?
M: no, but why chose to stop?
A: I just want to come clean towards you (omg, what is it, was he snooping around when i was talking to Stephen, did he hear what i said to him?)
M: what? The suspense is killing me.
A: Actually, i just want to admit that i have been coming to the bookstore since the first time i saw you hoping to catch a glimpse of you.
M:(sighs) oh i thought, wait what?
A: i actually saw you a few months back in the bookstore and followed you to starbucks but was hesitant to approach you, since then i have been hoping that id get a chance to strike a conversation with you (creepy).
M: then why did you not?
A: because the moment i was about to approach you, you just left. I have been coming to the bookstore hoping one day youd visit and lady luck was on my side when the moment i entered i saw you trying to pick a book, i know its the only copy because i have seen it for a few days already.

I was shocked with what Alexander's been telling me and had my focus on him now.

A: i know it sounds creepy but i took the chance to take the book you were trying to get just to strike a conversation with you. I already have a copy of it, but i just pretended that i wanted it so badly just so i could hear your voice.
M: if i dont know you now, i would have thought of you as a serial killer baiting his prey. ( And we both laughed at that remark)

He then drove entering the subdivision slowly and told me that he wants to savor the moment that i am sitting next to him after the big revelation to which i smiled to.

We arrived at our house and he told me not to get down the car, and i was like what are you trying to pull here, to which he just said just dont go down yet and I followed suit with what he asked me. He went down the car and went to the passengers side and opened the door for me ( gosh chivalrous ) he walked me into our door and he said, i liked it when you held my hand and he draw me in and kissed me on the cheeks. I watched him drove away before I entered our house. I just met my father's scrutinizing gaze and he jokingly said, one heart ache in a porsché coming right up.