*WATTPAD FEATURED*
*UNEDITED*
"You can't erase the pain, nor can I. You can't erase the reasons behind my fake smiles, you can't change the past, nor can I. We can't turn each other's faith, we can't vanish each other's mistakes, but I promise, I pr...
"Good morning love." The guy sitting in the last seat smiled at her, a smile that did not reach his ears.
"Kyle, babe, what's wrong?" The girl sounded worried for him. Sure, she was a ball of fire, wrong, bad, greedy but somewhere she held something else for the guy that sat in front of her, smiling softly.
"My friends do not care about me. They do not even want to talk to me. I just, I just do not know what to do." He closed his forest green eyes and laid his head on the desk, letting out a frustrated sigh.
"Oh Kyle, its gonna be fine, please do not get upset, love." She said, squeezing his shoulder.
"You do not understand Stacey, they are everything that I have." He looked up, shaking his head.
"Kyle, hey, they will come back, do not worry. Maybe they just do not want me to be with you. They despite me, especially Faye and River. They maybe think that I am horrible. You can leave me, you know, and go to them, like that, everything will be fine." She patted his head, pulling out a small sad smile.
In response, Kyle grabbed her hands, "Stacey, I will never leave you. If they really would have been my friends, they would have understood. They would have supported, tried to be happy for me. Never think that I will leave you, you are the only friend I have now. You have to do nothing with whatever that's happening." And when he kissed the palm of her hand, for the first time, Stacey felt something, Stacey felt something different, unexpected, somewhere her inside started to crumble and she felt an emotion she never knew she could feel. There was guilt and somewhere, there was admiration.
"Kyle, you do not understand, its all because of me. But just so you know, I am sorry." And for the first time, she meant it.
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I wanna apologize, I really am apologizing, for what, you ask? For breaking promises, for not being here like I was supposed to.
I cannot blame anyone for what I was feeling, but it was something between frustration and helplessness.
I have been going through each and every chapter of this book and I figured out something through the way. The phase changed, one way or another, something did, the way I write, the way I express, it just did and some of you even saw it.
I realized that I could not complete this story if I do not know how to ease my mind which had been messed up lately.
Not only that, there are some steps I am taking in my life that I know I am gonna regret. I am just unhappy with myself.
I could not concentrate in anything these days. I would not lie, I was getting more into numbers, like I really love it when I receive your messages, votes. Those things made me desperate, cause somewhere you all, this family, is my only escape. I did frequent updates for a long time but never noticed that I was not happy while writing, I was stressed out, impatient. It took me days to put it straight that I needed a break. And I had a break, I explored, absorbed, understood. Went to places, read favorite books, listened to songs, had bubble baths, well, let's just say, everything that makes me feel happy.
Wattpad has always been my happy little pill, even before I started writing, it just transfers me into another world, in the world where I like to feel like everything is possible.
I would not lie, this book, is my everything. No, not just because I like writing it, but because it explains me. The protagonist in the story is paired up with my own soul. It sounds weird, but I relate to her in every way. Sure, I did not experience that kind of family problems or extreme bulling, but I was there once, where I was in the middle of the dartboard and people were throwing darts at me. But well, let's just say, in my story, I was both the antagonist and the protagonist, a evil queen and a victim. About Faye? I changed the character a lot. Making this story worth it.
Those who are reading this or even going through the chapters of my book which was left forgotten for a month, I would like to say thank you, for everything that you all did. You may not know but you all are somewhere the reason why I was able to stand once again.
Updates will come, soon, but it will take time because I don't want to rush things, I want to go with the flow, be happy with the things that I spill on this story.
Thank you once again.
PS: I love you all and I mean it.
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