ForthBeam - What is this?✅

19 - It's your fault

With my face turned away from him, I pushed on his shoulders, trying to get him to move out of my way but he didn't budge.

"You don't care about my feelings? Then look me in the eyes and say it."

"Let me go." I kept my eyes averted. I hated how close he was. I hated how his hot breath, which fanned over the side of my face caused goosebumps to breakout over my skin.

"I won't let you go until you look me in the eyes and say you don't care about my feelings." His voice felt a little too close to my ear, making me shiver. I can't believe this is happening. After all that's happened today, I can't believe my body is responding to this...to him. I need to get him to move. I braced myself and quickly turned to look at him. Our lips nearly touched, I would pull back but there was no where to pull back to. I was already pressed up against the wall.

"Ai'Beam, so that's what is going on eh." Errr...whatshername said as she walked out of the bathroom and saw us in that position. "You couldn't get it up because you're gay?" She sounded angry and offended. I couldn't contain the embarrassment I felt, neither could I keep the blush creeping up my neck onto my face from happening.

She picked up her handbag and threw it at me in a fit of anger. Forth moved deftly, blocking it with his body without taking his eyes off me.

"First him, now you. How can all you guys be turning gay? How can you ruin my life like this?" She screeched angrily, almost hurting my ears. "You fucking sissy, asshole, %^*#@*&..." She spouted all the profanity in her vocabulary at me. "I never want to see you ever again." She picked up her bag and stormed off.

Forth and I were quiet the whole time, him watching me with his piercing black eyes and me looking everywhere but him. I tried pushing on his shoulders again, hoping he'd let me out but he didn't. I was embarrassed, blushing and with no place to hide. I resorted to covering my face with my palms. This is the worst day of my life.

"Forth...move."

"No. I'm not letting you go until we clear up what this is between us. If you tell me...right now...that you don't care about my feelings, that you don't have feelings for me, that you don't want to date me, I'll leave and never show my face to you again."

Did he not hear a word whatshername said? I let my hands slide down my face, so I could look up at him. He looked serious. Why is he putting me in such a tight spot now?

"Does this seem like the best time to talk about this?"

"And when do you think would be the best time?"

"I don't know...tomorrow? Next week? Next year? Just...not right now."

"Too bad for you then because I don't have time. I don't want to keep loving you if you're only going to toss my feelings around and when you're done, you'll throw them out like nothing and find yourself a woman. So Ai'Beam, we're not doing this tomorrow, next week or next year. We're doing it now."

Him standing so close was not helping. Every time his hot breath hit my face, more goosebumps broke out onto my skin. He sounded stern and demanding, but I didn't feel threatened. If anything, his voice sent shivers down my spine. One more look at his face and I could tell that he won't let me go until this matter is dealt with. I sucked in a determined breath before I spoke.

"Didn't you hear what the girl said? I couldn't do it with her and it's all your fault." I said to him through gritted teeth. I was getting irritated at how my body was reacting to his proximity, and how I wasn't really hating being trapped between him and the wall. My heart was thudding so loudly, I was worried he might hear.

"How was it my fault?" Once again, I couldn't look him in the eyes. I had to get away from him as soon as possible.

"Let me go and I'll tell you."

"No. You'll only run away if I let you go, and like I said, I don't want to chase you around if you don't care about my feelings." I tried pushing him off, again. It was a wasted effort, he was rooted to the ground like a tree, and stood firm like a pillar. My chances of escaping were looking bleak.