Chapter 3: Empty Spaces
LARA's POV
Nagising ako dahil may kumakatok sa pinto. My head hurts, my breath taste like hell and I'm still in my dirty girl attire.
Hangover ako dahil 3a.m. na ako nakauwi from Trisha's bar at ngayon ang aga ng stupidang kumakatok.
I opened the door and It's Dana. She seem surprised seeing me that way.
Ngayon lang kasi ako ulit naging ganito. The last time I get carried away by liquor is nung highschool pa kami. I thought I don't have to do this again in my college years but because of some instances, I know I have to.
"Couz? Anong nangyari? Pumunta ako dito para makipagkwento sayo pero I think ikaw ang dapat magkwento sakin." nagaalalang sabi nya.
"No.. I just have to go back to sleep.. Enjoy your day!" and I closed the door. I just want to be alone. Wala naman talagang kasalanan pinsan ko eh. I feel guilty sa ginawa ko but I have to. Ayokong madamay siya sa mga problema ko.
Naliligo ako nang may kumatok ulit. Swerte niya 'pag binuksan ko kaagad kaya I let that someone wait hanggang matapos akong maligo. I just put on my towel at lumabas ng banyo.
I opened the door and it was my playmate, Ted. He grabbed my waist and kissed me after closing the door. I can feel that my towel is about to fall off.
"Wait wait baby.." at inayos ko ang tuwalyang nakacover sa katawan ko. He just grinned while staring at me na bagong ligo.
"Bihis kana, I might do it here in your room babe.." he said at humiga siya sa kama ko feeling at home.
Sanay na ako sa pervert na 'to. You might ask bakit siya nakapasok sa dorm, the answer would be: dahil napakaliberated ng eskwelan ko.
He watched me dress up. I bet it's not awkward for him dahil he already watched me dressing up so many times.
You might think I'm a bitch.. No I'm not. No one ever touched me before. I won't let them. Si Ted kasi laging pumapasok sa kwarto ko kapag naghihintay siya for me so syempre, while nagbibihis ako he's just there staring. He stares pag naglolotion ako, pag nagsusuot ng undies, at pati pag nagmemake-up.
Our date was nice. I get bored nga lang kasi same routine parin ang ginagawa like eating pizza and watching movie. Isn't it old-fashioned? Anyway I thanked him for the day.
Great! I'm back in my room and all the memories that I hate keeps on coming back.
I want to cry dahil kahit ganito ang status ko sa buhay, I still feel that the world is against my happiness.
Just yesterday my mom called me crying dahil she knew about my Dad's another affair. Pang ilan na bang babae yun ni Dad? I don't know why she still loves him kahit sinasaktan na siya emotionally.
Dad just give her credit cards para magshopping but money is not the only need of a wife diba? She needs a loving husband. Loving husband naman si daddy eh, but not faithful and loyal.
I want a happy family but I guess it's beyond our reach. I don't trust guys. Kaya nga I don't have serious relationships diba? Trusting them is just giving them the opportunity to break me.
I only trusted a guy once. I only loved a guy once. That guy is Ian, my first love who happened to be..
Stop Lara! Don't dwell in that fucking chapter of your life! Sheeze!
"I HATE YOU!" sigaw ko sa loob ng kwarto ko. Di naman sound proof 'to but I don't care.
Should I spend this day contemplating about problems? or go out and act like nothing is wrong?
