Faye's Diary

Chapter 16: Granny Knows

It was Thursday, nearly the end of the week and I had told Jamaal that we could go out every Wednesday night.

By the time I got to school, word was around that I had been on a date with Jamaal Yusuf Slayer, the hottest boy in the school. Whilst I felt proud that it was me everyone was talking about, I knew that I had to watch my back from now on. I had made a lot of enemies last night.

“Hey, look who it is, slut of the year! Did you drop your knickers then, huh? I don’t know who you think you are, flaunting yourself around sashaying here, there and everywhere! You think you’re queen of the world don’t you? Well, news flash darling, you’re scum!” Someone shouted out from the crowd.

“It doesn’t matter how much make-up you wear, you still look like a dog!” Said someone else.

“I wonder if she knows how to spell the word pretty.”

Just then, Jade rushed out of the door screaming, “She sounds more intelligent than all of you put together when she farts! So you can all shut the hell up!”

“She can’t have eaten very many baked beans then because she doesn’t sound very smart!” A girl called Mandy shouted out.

Jade put up her fists and said, “Do you want to say that again?” No-one spoke. “I didn’t think so. Come on Faye.”

We walked into our form room. In the form room, things were much better. Instead of being jealous, everyone was exited for me. They asked me questions about it, and squealed when I said that we kissed. By the time our first lesson came around, I was feeling much better. Well, until I saw that it was geography of course. 

***

As soon as I got home that afternoon, Mum was in my face.

“So, did you have a nice time last night then sweetie? That Jamaal, well, I wouldn’t mind a slice of that,” Mum giggled.

I gave her a stony stare. How could she act like everything was normal? She has been lying to me about Charlotte since I was three years old! “I’m not in the mood Mum. I’m tired.”

“Love, I’ve booked you in with another counselling session tomorrow after school ok? Karen said that she would come here this time.”

“Did you not get the message last time? I don’t want to have another session,” I said incredulously, and stormed upstairs.

I sat down heavily on my bed, not sure whether to laugh or cry. I decided not to do any and to listen to the noises coming from downstairs to distract me.

At first, all I could hear were pots and pans scraping and cupboard doors slamming. Then, I heard Mums muffled voice downstairs saying, “Hello? Mum?”

She was phoning Granny? Why, she never phoned her? I crept down the stairs and put my ear to the door.

“Mum? She knows, she knows, I swear it. Please, come round and talk to her, I beg you please. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.”

Granny said something which I couldn’t hear and then, “Yes, there is only her and me in the house, there is no-where for me to escape. Mum, please?” My Mum started to sob. “Yes, I am absolutely certain, she definitely knows. Or if she doesn’t know then she will do soon. Something’s going on and it’s all spiralling out of control, she hates me. I am one hundred percent sure she knows.”

“Knows what?” I burst into the room. I knew what she was talking about and I was furious. So Granny knew about it too, and she never told me either.

Mum screamed and dropped the phone. She bent down, “I’ve got to go Mum.” And put the phone down. “Faye, you shouldn’t listen to other people’s conversations. I wasn’t even talking about you.” She was red and flustered and there were still remains of mascara on her face where she had been crying.

“Yes you were, you said that we were the only people in the house. And you said there was no escape. No escape from what though?” I pressed her.

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter, you shouldn’t have been listening. Go back upstairs anyway, I sent you to your room.”

“You haven’t sent me to my room since I was about twelve. Just tell me,” I shouted at her. ‘Just tell me that my sister isn’t dead!’ I added silently.

“No,” she screamed, “Go upstairs!”

I stood there, white and shaking with anger. “Fine,” I said quietly.

I got out an old rucksack from my room. I packed clothes, pyjama’s, hair things and last of all, the diaries; mine and my sisters.

I looked at my hand where I had written the address; 55 Long Street. I crept down the stairs, stuck my rushed note on the door and ran.

***

I thought about the note in my head. Maybe I should have written more:

To Mum,

I have gone. I cannot tell you where I am going or when I will get back, but I’ll be away for quite a while, maybe weeks.  I know what you were talking about to Granny, and I am determined to find the truth!

Faye.

I wish I had put that I loved her. It’s true, even though she lied to me, she’s still my Mum.

I thought back to the piece of paper in Charlotte's file. It said she had a violent step-father. Was that another one of Mum’s lies or was that true? Was my sister abused? I pushed the thoughts from my mind and began to plan what I was going to say.

I turned into a little cobbled street full of queer little houses. This was Long Street. I saw number fifty-five straight away. It was blue and had flower-boxes in all the windows and baskets on the front of the house. It was probably the most normal house on the whole street. The one next door was painted orange!

It seemed pleasant. I hoped this was the right house. My sister might be living here, and if not, she would have spent her childhood here.

I walked slowly up the garden that was bursting with roses and daisies. I knocked on the door.

An older woman in her mid-fifties answered the door. She had short white hair and shocking blue eyes that were exaggerated by her blue jumper.

She looked up at me, and her eyes filled with tears. “Faye.”