When I finally woke up everyone was in my room. Miah and the guys, Hannah and the girls, Marianne, and my parents. I was very weak and could barely move but I managed to smile at them.
"Benna!" Skya said. She was sitting at the edge of my bed. "We missed you," she smiled.
"I missed you too," I whispered because that was all I could manage. I cleared my throat. It was silent for a while and I asked to just talk to Brinson and Gus. Everyone nodded and left the room as they both came to sit next to me.
"Hey sweetcheeks," Brinson whispered.
"Hey stubborn," I teased and we both laughed. "Hey Gus." He nodded.
"What do you need?" Brinson asked. I closed my eyes for a couple seconds, trying to hold back the tears and Gus grabbed my hand, holding it tightly, but very genle. I sighed deeply.
"I... I need you to," I told them shakily but I was unable to get it out. Gus squeezed my hand, signaling for me to go on. Tears began to run down my face and I was no longer able to hold them in. I was weak now and I was fine that I was dying but, I didn't want everyone else to die with me. I had to make sure the ones I loved, were safe, and that I'd always be able to look over them. I needed them to know that I'd always be there, no matter what the cost. "I need you to make sure that Miah is okay... when I'm gone," I sniffled.
Brinson shook his head, "Benna, don't take like that. You'll be fine. Just a little of rest and a little help and you'll be back to normal," he carried on as if he wasn't understanding the situation.
"Brinson! I don't have much time so, I need you guys to tell him that I didn't mean to leave him alone, and that it was just my time to go. Can you tell him?" he asked as another tear rolled down my cheek and Gus squeezed his eyes shut as a tear rolled down his cheek too. I felt his tear fall onto my hand and it felt like my body was the world and the lttle tear was a giant flood, killing everything in that world. Brinson looked down dissapointed. "Promise me," I whispered to him. He nodded his head and then looked up.
"I promise. But, Benna?"
"Hmmm?"
"You don't have to feel bad about leaving him alone," he told me and I looked down at the baby blue hospital rode. It felt uncomfortable and the smell of death lingered in the air. "He has us." When he said this I immediately looked up and smiled as they smiled back.
"I knew I could count on you two." They both kissed me on the forehead as they got up and walked out the door.
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Hannah, Skya, Briel, and Annie all walked into the room. They all sat on my bed asking me things like "how do you feel?" and "can I get you anything?" When they'd finally calmed down I moved into a more comfortable position.
I bit my lip and then I said, "I'm gonna miss you guys." I sniffled and then Annie gasped loudly and began to sob into her hands as everyone looked over at her. "Annie, when your ready... meet me at the beach. I'm sorry I'm leaving you guys down here in this mess of a place but I'll let you all know ow it is up there. I didn't meaqn for this to happen," I began to cry. "I'm scared for you guys," and when I said this Briel quickly looked straight at us.
"You're what?" she whispered.
"I'm worried about you all. I want you all to-"
"This is all wrong," she said shaking her head is.
"What is?" I asked confused.
"Ben! Don't you see it! Your the one that's sick and your worried about US!" she cried. "Your the best person out of all of us and your the one that got stuck dying? It shouldn't work that way!" she yelled.
"Then how should it work?" I whispered.
"Not this way! I can assure you," she cried.
"Briel, I'm sick because I was chosen. Whoever picked me, knew I'd be able to handle it because... if I were like everyone else, I would've just turned my back on everyone and taken this whole thing as a terrible weight on my back but instead..." I took a break because I was getting tired. "Instead I look at it as another opening for opportunities. I was able to see that it wasn't about who was who was different or didn't fit in, because I was always different from everyone else. Unlike most people, my deep dark secret actually matter, it wasn't just about some little rush I had for a couple weeks. I never actually fit in because, there was never actually a spot for me. Instead of going in the last spot that needed to be filled in the puzzle, I made a new puzzle where I was the only peice. And all of you... you finished that puzzle," I smiled. Hannah and Skya both had some tears running down there cheeks and Annie had her eyes closed. Saving every single word I said, knowing they'd be some of my last. I knew she was planning on holding onto them forever. Never once letting go of them. "Were scared for you too," Briel whispered and then looked up at me. "I'm scared for you. Tell us how it is?" she asked. I just nodded and smiled.
"I will," they all came in and hugged me. they all piled out although Hannah stayed behind.
"Can you watch over my brother when you're up there? Try to help him get better?" she asked with tears in her eyes and I nodded.
"I'm going to miss you so much," she cried into my shoulder.
"I love you," I told her.
"I love you too."
"Take care of the girls for me. Don't give up... on anything. Stay strong. And when something happens, just know that, I'm there, no matter if you've fallen in the middle of the ocean or on some forbidden island," I said and we both laughed.
"I've never met someone as great as you Benna. People always say that it takes a while to know when you have a best friend but I always knew who mine was 10 seconds after I met her," she paused and I looked into her eyes. "It was you."
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I don't know if there's a god or not but what I do know is that there is someone watching over me. Whether it's god, or a gaurdian angel, or maybe just even my brother. I know that, eventually, everyone's going to die, it's just a matter of when and that no one gets out of life in the end without any bumps or bruises. I used to consider me and my friends as a bag of seeds. All my friends were the seeds that grew, and I was the dud that never bloomed but I realize now that... I wasn't a dud, I just bloomed faster than the rest of us, and I was the only one that didn't notice. People say there isn't love at first sight, and there isn't. Mainly because if there was, it wouldn't be the right person to love. There's so much more past the first sight, you can't love someone if you barely know their story. I guess you could say Miah and I met each other at bad timing but the timing is what made it perfect. It made us see what we'd be missing when I was gone... eachother. So we were more grateful than we would've been in a different situation and so, now that our love is strongest, ironically, it's time to move on, whether we want to or not. Life just has it's quirks like that.
