I took in a deep unsteady breath, thinking of how to tell her. I decided to just tell her simply, hoping she'll understand.
"I have leukemia," I said very fast, regreting I'd ever told her. Hannah was silent for a couple seconds and then she turned her head to look at me.
"I know," she said at last. I stared at her, surprised, scared, and also a little guilty. "I've seen you in chemo a lot. I started seeing you in the middle of last year. Benna?," I had turned my head to look back up at the sky. I couln't believe she'd never told me she knew.
"hmm?" I asked her.
"Luke has leukemia," Hannah responded as a tear rolled down her cheek. Luke was her little 9 year old brother. He was the funniest, cutest little boy. He had so much energy and could make anybody smile, even on a rainy day. A tear rolled down my cheek as I remembered all the times that I went over to her house and would laugh until I was crying, with Luke. Him and Hannah were really close, and knew Hannah understood why I hadn't told anybody because she had the same motives for not telling anybody about her brother. I rolled to my side and place my elbow on the growned and my head in my hand.
"I know how you feel," I told her," and if you ever need someone to talk to, or just lay down in the grass with you, you know I'm always the first in line." She smiled at me as another tear rolled down her cheek and I layed back down on the grass and grabbed Hannah's hand and held it. We layed there fo another 15 minutes in peace.
"If you ever jumped off a building, would you go head first, seeing the ground, or face up, looking up towards the sky?" Hannah asked me suddenly.
"Why would I jump off a building?" I asked her confused.
"Say you were in a giant chase or something and that's what it came to. Just say," she told me as if she were thinking.
"I guess I would go feet first, looking towards the sky. I'd just lay back and enjoy the ride," I said, turning my head to smile at her," you?"
"Face down, definately. That way I'd know the exact moment I would die, and I know how much time I'd have to do everything I wanted to," she replied.
"hm," I said thinking about the silly question so deeply.
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As I was walking to school the next day in a short, jean skirt and a red tank top I heared, I'm guessing, 3 bikes riding up behind me.
"Hey guys," I called smiling, without turning around. They came up to the side of me, all smiling.
"Hey sweetcheeks," Brinson said.
"You're never going to give that up are you," I said with a little giggle.
"Nope," he said popping the "p".
"Hey Miah?" I asked him.
"Ya?"
"Can I take you up on your offer," I asked pointing toward his bike. He looked down and stopped.
"Sure thing," he replied with a grin. I smiled and walked over to him. I got up on the handlebars and we rode to school like that, All of us laughing the whole way. We passed by some guys being immature that were making gross sexual movements towards me and Miah. I'd rather not give the details. We both just stared at each other and shook our heads as in to say," what losers"
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After school I was walking in the halls with Briel. There was no one else in them and we were just talking when all of a sudden, the same group of guys from earlier came up to us. One guy grabbed my arm and I tried to pull away. It was no use though because he was way too strong.
"Hey. How about you come with us and forget about your 3 little dirtbag friends," the guys told me.
"No! Get off of me," I yelled trying get free of his grip but his hand wouldn't budge.
"Who pissed in your cheerios? She said get off of her," Briel chimed in but with that remark a guy came behind her and grabbed both her arms behind her back as she struggled to get away.
"Obviously you didn't hear them man. Back off!" I heard Gus call from down the hall.
"Hey man were just havin' a lil' fun. Ya know" the boy called back, still gripping my arm tight. I could now feell a bruise starting to form where his hand was.
"No I don't know. And since when was this called fun," it was Miah now and they were walking fast toward us. "Back off," Miah said in his face this time.
"Fine, whatever. You better watch your back Miah. And same with you Gus," the guy sad while backing off. He was trying to look tough, but failed miserably. Briel turned around to Gus and hugged his waist and put her head on his chest. He kissed her on the head as she thanked him for his heroic act.
"Thanks," I said to Miah shyly as I rubbed where the guy had grasped my arm.
"Let me know if he gives you anymore trouble," Miah replied looking into my eyes," is your arm okay," he said grabbing it gently.
"Ya just a little bruised. Did you guys wanna come over to my house?" I asked Miah and Gus,"Briel is comin'," I added smiling at Gus.
"I can't I have work, but tomorrow I'm free," Miah said.
I nodded and said,"okay. What about you Gus?"
"Actually, I think Bri and I are gonna go get some ice crea,. Wanna come?" Gus replied looking at Briel.
"Nah that's okay. you two have fun," I answered smiling because I figured they just wanted to hang with the two of them. He nodded and and they both left the school whispering and giggling with each other.
"Did you want me to walk you home?" Miah asked and I nodded yes.
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We were walking home when it started to pour. i was trying to look for a place to stay dry when Miah just stood out in the middle of the road with his hands out like he was feeling the rain. His head was leaned back and his eyes were closed. I ran over to him and he looked at me.
"Would you like to dance?" He asked sticking his arm out toward me.
"In the middle of the road? In the pouring rain?" I asked him astonished.
"It makes it all th better don't you think?" he asked me sweetly. I took his hand and we dance to the sound of the rain hitting the ground. I looked up into the darkest gray sky I had ever seen. When I looked back at him he was staring at me. We were still dancing with his hand on my waist, mine on his shoulder, and our other hands intertwined. Our skin colors meshed together as if neither of us were black, nor white. Like we were one person. I stared back at him and he leaned in and kissed my lips. His lips were soft against mine as I kissed him back. It was a short kiss, but it was my first kiss. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
"I thought you had work?" I asked him smiling.
"Rick won't mind if I'm late," he said as we contined to walk home slowly down the middle of the road in the pouring rain. Our hands were locked together perfectly, like were made to fit with each other. That's when I knew, he would have my heart for as long I lived, and I would have his... until his last breath. And beyond.
