The Thanaton Syndrome

Chapter Thirty Five: Pt. 2

"Have you used it much lately?"

"Yeah. I used it on all of the questers and archers when we were walking through the forest."

"Oh? I thought you just did me. Somehow you managed to keep control without having all the emotions overwhelm you?"

Seth shuddered, recalling the incident in the caves when he'd felt so depressed and hopeless. He shook his head. "I kinda made sure to only pick at one person at a time. I think when that happened last time, I accidentally grabbed on everyone."

She nodded. "Good. See, you're figuring it out already. Try and read mine, and then come out."

Seth did as she asked, touching her consciousness and slipping away as quick as possible to avoid causing her too much discomfort. She jumped when he did, but smiled. "Good. Now stay longer...um, don't go too deep. Try to just hover, and if I push you away, let me."

He counted to about thirty before she pushed him away. "Nice," she said, wiping a bead of sweat off her forehead. "Try fighting me this time. If I push, push back."

"You sure?" Seth raised an eyebrow.

"You need to practice defense, and this seems like the best way. It'll be fine." She gave him an encouraging smile.

He cautiously reached out, and after about three seconds, she pushed him away. He fought back, maintaining his grip on her emotions. He caught a touch of amusement before feeling a smack. Blinking, he found himself back to his own head.

"You need to try a little harder, I know you're stronger than that," Jenna said. "Let's go, you're doing great."

"How'd you do that?" He said. He'd never imagined she'd have so much strength after experiencing only her soft nudges.

"I've been honing this power for years, Seth. C'mon, you got this."

He nodded, reaching out, determined this time. When he felt her forcing him away, he pushed back harder, expecting the brute force. He lasted another three seconds, pushing against her with all his might, before slipping.

Blinking, he found his teeth gritted, his own beads of sweat rolling down his forehead.

"You good?" She said.

He nodded. "Let's go."

Determination surged through him this time as he crushed through all her feelings, deeper and deeper. He grasped at all the strings, using all his might, pulling and yanking as hard as he could. She wouldn't get him out this time.

But then the strands kept coming. More and more of them rushed to meet him, surrounding him and drowning him and yet he kept pulling. He tried to stop himself, tried to make it all go away, but he couldn't. They went on for all eternity and the emotions began to hit.

Fear, confusion, anger...incredible anger. Anger infused itself into every pore of his being. It burned through him, making him want to scream. Undertones of worry laced the fire, and above it all, complete emptiness. Seth thrashed, trying to make it all go away. The emptiness ached and hurt, so intense he began to lose all awareness.

Everything seemed so blank. He'd risen above anger now, so above, in fact, that he felt nothing except pure nothingness. Some enormous part of his being had disappeared. Vacancy consumed him. It ached, stung, and throbbed more painfully than anything he'd ever felt. He couldn't live like this. He'd rather die than fall prey to this endless abyss. He wished he'd never come to be.

Slowly, painfully slowly, the numbness left his mind. His emotions began to resurface, and the intense, hot anger flew back to him. After a few seconds, this also faded, leaving behind a dull throb of fear and anxiety. He came back to his senses, realizing the strands wiggling out of his grasp. He pushed them all away, feeling sick.

At last, he opened his eyes to find cool straw. Something hard dug into his head, and sweat poured from his face. With a groan, he forced himself up, noticing that the hard thing digging into his skull had been a bar from the prison wall.

He found Jenna, looking at him with concern.

"What...?" He heard himself, as if from another universe, breathy and exhausted.

"You, um, lost control again. Got a little too aggressive, I think."

He raised his head, now meeting all the worried gazes aimed at him from the other side of the room.

"You started screaming." Jenna scooted closer to him, murmuring so no one else could hear. "It sort of woke everyone up."

"Great," he muttered. He raised his voice, shakily calling out, "S-sorry, just a dream. Maybe you can all go back to sleep."

"You sure that was just a dream, boy?" Peter's voice came to his ears from at least eight cells down. He tried finding the man's face, but his vision seemed a little blurry and twitchy.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry."

He heard some grumbling.

"Sorry," he said.

"So what did you feel?" Jenna's wide, concerned eyes never left him once. He found it painful to look into them.

"Lots of stuff, but mostly...emptiness." He had a hard time keeping his voice steady.

"Emptiness?"

"I felt numb, but really...that's not quite right. Numb doesn't do it justice. I seemed to have lost all ability to feel anything at all."

"Maybe...everyone feels numb, from Spencer. All that added together made it far too much for any human being to handle."

"That sort of seems right. I did feel a certain kind of blankness, to start, and that was awful. But then, a different kind of blankness came. I think, when a person feels too many emotions, they reach a point where they can't even feel anymore. A lot of the questers seem to have experienced that emptiness, and I got everyone's all mixed up in a bundle. But I also got a sort of extreme version of that. I felt their blankness mixed together, which was excruciating, but I also got my own because of the pure overflow of emotions—and that was worse. So much worse. It was like...a never ending pit..."

Sensations came back to him, and he found himself heaving. Jenna's voice tried to penetrate his bubble, but the feeling was too strong. He started choking, shaking his head vehemently. Nothing could compare to something so awful as what he'd experienced. Even though it was over, the memories wouldn't leave. Panic gripped him, making him writhe in dismay and hysterics.

Another being touched his mind, soothing and whispering.

"It wasn't real." It was Rachel. "You're fine, Seth, it's all over now."

Her voice floated over his nerves, calming him, brushing all the panic away. Sensing her presence there, so close, he felt all the shadows hurrying away.