My Impossible Love II ✔️

22

Recap:
"Thank you" Steve whispered
"For what?" I asked.
"For telling him to set me free even though we didn't have back up plan. Because you made sure we would make it out alive" he said.
"Teamwork Rogers, that's what I learned from S.H.I.E.L.D. You never leave a man behind it's either all or nothing. Stick together, have each other's back. Trust one another to make good decisions" I said hugging him back.
"Thank you for risking your live in order to save mine" he said kissing my forehead.
"I'm gonna take a shower" I said once he released me from the hug.
"I'll get us some food" he said.
"Okay" I said as I went to the restroom.
Natasha's p.o.v
I stayed in the restroom longer then necessary. I just laid in the bathtub, feeling the water against my skin and for the first time in a really long time I cried. I cried over Hydra, I cried over my dead parents and cried over the lives I took that didn't deserve it. I cried over the monster that Hydra has created and are so proud of. Deep down regardless of people telling me to stop blaming myself for my past. I knew that I couldn't forget it and start over, because forgetting my past meant forgetting those people I had killed that didn't deserve to be forgotten. They deserve to hunt by dreams and make sure I wasn't happy, because I didn't give them a chance to be either. I didn't give them a chance to grow up and make their own mistakes and learn and grow and keep pushing. I took that away from them. All those children.
That's why I can't forget who I was, and who I am, because I had a choice and chose to take that away from them.
"Hey Nat, you're okay in there?" I heard Steve ask outside the door.
"Yeah" I said.
"Umm... food is outside if you want any" Steve said
"I'll be out in a minute" I said washing my face. As I looked myself in the mirror, I saw my puffy red eyes which made my green eyes even brighter, my face red, from cheeks to nose, if anyone saw me, they would think that I was fighting off a cold. I tried calming down breathing in and out and after a couple of minutes, I opened the door to see Steve sitting down in a chair with his hands on his face.
"You okay Rogers?" I asked I sat across from him grabbing some food from a bag in front of me.
"Are you fine?" Steve asked looking at me intensely.
"Yeah why wouldn't I?" I asked.
"Because you look awful" Steve said.
"Geez thanks" I said sarcastically.
"Natasha really. I'm not joking. What's going on with you?" Steve asked looking at me with desperate eyes, his blue eyes looking at me.
"Nothing Rogers" I said looking away from him.
"Eat your food" I said.
"Why do you do that?" He asked sighting heavily.
"Do what?" I snapped.
"That! Push people away, what else do I have to do to make you trust me?" He said lifting his arms in desperation
"I'm not doing anything and stop asking things that are none of your business" I said getting up angrily walking pass him but I felt his strong grip on my arms.
"No you don't get to walk away this time. I've tried everything but nothing seems to breaks down those walls that you've built. Just when I think I have, you make new ones 10 times stronger" he says his bright blue eyes darker then their usual color.
"You need to stop trying to do things that are impossible to achieve. I'll save you the heart ache" I said trying to remove my arm from his hold.
"Well I'm not like you Natasha, I don't just give up and run away when things get too personal or hard, I just work extra hard" Steve said.
"Yeah well how is that working out for ya, huh!?" I asked angrily.
"Stop trying Rogers, some things are just not wroth your time, and I'm one of them, in case it wasn't clear enough" I said looking at him and his eyes looked at mine sadly.
"If you don't stop, I will, and you won't like it" I said glaring at him angrily before shoving him to the side and walking towards the door.
"Where are you going Romanoff?" Steve asked softly.
"Away from you, until I'm 100% sure I won't kill you" I said coldly.
"You won't do that" Steve said.
"Don't try me Rogers, remember who I am and never forget it" I said slamming the door behind me seeing his eyes loss hope as I did.
"I'm sorry Steve, but you don't need me" I whispered to myself.
Steve's p.o.v
I see her slam the door, her green eyes hold nothing but mystery, but behind that I could see the pain they hold. I couldn't help but feel like she was walking away from me. I kick a chair hearing it shatter against a wall.
"FUCK" I yelled angrily slamming by hands on the table.
I punched a wall repeatedly stopping only when there was a hole on it.
My knuckles bleeding.
WHY IS SHE SO DIFFICULT!??
All I've tried is to help her, Why is she so cold... heartless.
Why do I even care? I should just walk away like her and not give two craps about her. Walk away from her like she so easily does with me, like she doesn't even care about me. But I CANT! That's what kills me! That no matter how many times she walks away from me, I could never walk away from her, because the day that I do, it means that I have given up on her and that I accept loosing her forever, and I'm not.
If she is not willing to fight for herself then I will.
She's given up on herself but I haven't and that's good enough.
Hey guys, I'm sorry for not updating in a million years but I've been busy with school work, junior year is no joke! Anyways hope you like the chapter, I'm officially on spring break, so hopefully I'll update at least twice! Stay tune!
*What's your favorite thing about this book?*
Comment and vote
Bree