another us | sodapop curtis

18. The Softer Side Of Dallas

"Why did we have to go?" I asked shoving my hands in my pockets.

"Because Darry does a lot for us and we needa give him a break." He replied putting his arm around me.

"You cold?" He asked.

"Yeah, a little." I shrugged.

"Want my jacket?" He asked.

"Nah, I'm good..." I replied snuggling closer to him.

"You want anythin' to drink or somethin'?" He asked.

"Why are you so concerned?" I asked.

"Well, I was thinking.." He said sitting down on a nearby bench.

I leaned on a stop sign in front of him. He patted the seat beside him.

"I'm good. Just tell me what you were thinking about." I said.

"You better not tell anyone about this." He grumbled.

"Get on with it!" I exclaimed.

"You know how mom...left us?" He asked.

"Yeah." I replied.

"And pa's probably in some gutter in New York?" He asked.

"Yeah, what about it?" I asked.

"We're all we got left. Yeah, I know I sound stupid but it's true. If you leave me, I'm no one. I don't know if it's the same with you but-"

"You know it is." I stopped him. He looked at me and continued.

"So, I've realized that I need to take care of you." He said.

"You already do." I told him.

"Better than I do. You're my whole world and I need to start treating you like that." He said.

"I get it. Now stop being all sad, it's not like you. Let's keep going." I said pulling him off the bench.

"Nah man, I don't wanna go to Buck's anymore. You wanna just sleep in the lot?" He asked.

"Sure, let's go." I shrugged.

"So how's your concussion?" He asked rubbing my head and pulling me close.

"Getting better, I guess." I replied.

"You know I love you right?" He asked.

"I do now..." I muttered.

"Y-You didn't think I do?" He asked shocked.

"Well, I mean I didn't until a couple days ago...or maybe yesterday, I don't really remember." I replied scratching my head.

"Why?" He asked.

"Well, you were n-never like... With me. You know? You were never really there for me. I mean, of course you're always there when I really need you but you're never really watching me like Darry or Soda does." I replied.

"You mean you want someone to be there for you? To protect you? Not to just watch over you but someone you really trust that will help you?" He asked for clarification.

"Yeah. You're not with me as much as they are so like... for example, they know when I'm feeling scared and when I need that reassurance they're there for me. You only know I'm scared when someone tells you I am.." I replied.

"Listen, I'm sorry I haven't been with you as much as I'd like to. I've been busy." He said.

"Busy?" I asked.

"Yeah, you think I can't be busy?" He asked.

"You're always busy. I mean, what do you mean by 'you've been busy'?" I asked again.