Blue

25

"Landen, I got your cake ready. Come on down so we can sing happy birthday." My mom said.

When she came in, I was sitting in my room drawing. I was also dwelling over everything that's happened that day.

I walked out of my room and down the stairs. Everyone was already down there. Lloyd and Karrie were on the couch with my dad. Mom was in the kitchen, and Evan and Merci were in there with her. Ariana and Aaron were on the loveseat in the living room.

"Everyone come in here!" My mom yelled as she put the cake on the table.

I sat down at the table, and everyone came into the kitchen. My dad turned the lights out, and everyone sang Happy Birthday to me. My mom gave me the birthday present she got me, a few hoodies and a new pair of converse, and said was from Dad, too.

I looked at her. My mom, she was what a lot a people didn't have. She worked, way too much, but she still cared for me and Merci and Evan. Everyone said I looked a lot like her. We had the same blonde hair, the same brown eyes. We had the same face shape, too, which just made us look almost identical from far away.

My dad didn't deserve her. My mom deserves someone who will love and care for her. Not someone who lied to her about where he was going for a month at a time. Not someone who had another family while he was still married to her.

When everyone got their cake and all that, everyone started to spread out again. Aaron didn't want anything, and followed me and Ariana up to my room.

"So what was that big thing that went on with you and Lloyd?" Aaron asked.

No one had even mentioned what happened between Lloyd and I, and I was surprised. Although, I'm sure Karrie had already spread it to half the school.

"He decided to completely deny being gay even though he had sex with me a little over a month ago." I gave a sad smile. Maybe I could try to make the situation seem a little funny. Who knew.

"He's a real dick for that." Aaron said solemnly.

I shrugged. "Maybe he was just curious and then he tried it and decided he's straight. It happens all the time."

"That doesn't make it okay." He said.

"Oh well, Aaron. I already told him how I feel. I can't force him to be a part of something he wants nothing to do with. We were never even dating in the first place. I'd love to have that movie-like, one in a million chance that he's going to run in here and tell me he loves me and then everyone cheers and shit, but its not going to happen. It doesn't work that way and I was stupid for hoping it would. I mean lets face it. Even if he was gay, it wouldn't be me he would go for. I was just a big fucking experiment." I felt anger build up.

"Landen, calm down, Jesus." Ariana said.

"I can't, Ariana! I can't just fucking calm down after all this shit! You have Dina! You might not be out to your parents but you know they won't care and you actually have someone! He was the only person I had besides you who actually understood all this! Do you think anyone else got it?"

I heard the door creak.
"Got what, Landen?"

My mom stood there, with her purse in her hand.

"Why do you have your purse" I asked.

"I was about to go pick up a few things at the store. What do you think no one understood?"

I looked at Ariana. She just stared at me, like she was scared for me. She knew my mom was very religious. No one knew how she felt about gay people, but she was really religious.