Save Me|JungkookxBTS

,30

Jin pov

2 weeks later

"How did I get this scar?" Jungkook pointed to a scar on his stomach. It was a faded red, almost pink, and it looked like something he would've gotten from being hit with a whip or belt.

"When you fell in the studio you probably cut yourself on something." I lied and it hurt. It hurt to lie straight to his face and I could tell he was starting to not believe them.

Jungkook nodded and ran his shaky fingers over the pink skin. My heart tightened at the sight. I could tell he was thinking, trying to remember, and I wish he wouldn't. I wish I could tell him be doesn't want to remember all those terrible things that happened to him. I wish I didn't remember all those things myself.

Gently I reached down and cupped my hand over Jungkook's. He flattened his hand beneath mine, which allowed me to feel the soft skin of his stomach on the tips of my fingers. It felt weird to touch him after so long. To feel his soft skin against my own. I missed it and I found myself dragging my hand off of Jungkook's and onto his stomach. I splayed my fingers over the skin, covering most of his scars in the process. Any other time this would've terrified him, but how do I know it doesn't anymore?

I looked up from his stomach and what I saw made my breath catch in my throat. His head was tilted back, his eyes were closed, and a small smile was tugging at his lips. "Jungkook." I whispered, my hand still splayed on his stomach.

His eyes fluttered open and a soft blush dusted his sunken cheeks. "Yes hyung?" He asked with that soft and innocent voice that I thought I'd never hear again. I smiled but retracted my hand and pulled his shirt down to hide the scarred skin.

He's still recovering and I would never do anything to compromise his delicate mental state.

"Hyung?"

I looked up at Jungkook and my stomach sunk when I saw tears lining his eyes. Did I do something wrong?

"Hey don't cry kookie, don't cry, what's wrong?" I asked and tried to wipe his tears only for him to jerk away from me. It left me feeling sick. Disgustingly sick that made me want to vomit. Or wring Lee's neck.

Jungkook shook his head and laughed softly, a bitter smile finding its way on his lips. "Am I ugly now hyung? Will...will ARMYs even like me anymore?"

"Jungkook why would-"

"No...answer my question hyung."

Jungkook was staring at me with such intensity and pain behind his eyes that I knew deep down he remembers. He might not remember the actual events that took place. But he remembers the feelings, the pain, the fear, and the self hatred. Which were all the things I wished he forgot. "You're not ugly Jungkook, never have been and never will." I said but he wasn't listening.

He was staring at his lap as tears ran down his cheeks and nose and dripped into the bedsheets, staining them grey with his pain. Pain he probably doesn't even understand why he feels.

I wasn't lying. He's not ugly. Sure he's lost almost all his muscle mass. He's lost an unhealthy amount of weight. He's covered in scars from head to toe that are in all shapes, sizes, and depths. And now he resembles how he looked when he first debuted. Small, skinny, and fragile. But he's not ugly. Because he still has those soft doe eyes, bunny teeth, rosy lips, soft skin, fluffy hair, and personality. Even if it's been beaten down by months of torture, I know it's still there, deep down he's still the same Jungkook that we raised and loved with all our fucking hearts.

"You're beautiful Jungkook, inside and out, and we love you so much," I grabbed Jungkook's hands and squeezed them to emphasize my words, "and ARMYs will love you too, they're going to be so happy to hear that you're healthy again."

Jungkook nodded but he still wouldn't look at me and his hands were limp in my hold.

I sighed and did the only other thing I could think of to comfort him, pull him into my lap and hold him. He didn't struggle and instead nuzzled his head into my neck as intense sobs plagued his body. "Shhh." I cooed and rubbed circles on his back. I could count the vertebrae of his spine and it made me sick to think of him sitting in a room being starved.

"Hyung...I'm so..so sorry," he sobbed into my neck.

"Why kookie?"

Jungkook sniffed and nuzzled deeper into my neck as if he was trying to disappear. "Be..be..because I  am a burden."

"You are not a burden Jungkook."

"Yes I am."

"No Jungkook." I stopped rubbing his back and forced his head out of hiding so he could look at me. "You are not a burden and never will be. We love you and we would sacrifice anything for you, even our careers. Because none of that matters if you're not around."

Jungkook's bottom lip quivered and before he could argue with me I pulled him forward into a kiss. Jungkook's entire body went rigid in my hold for a few seconds before he relaxed and pressed his self into me. I brought my hand up to rest on his bandaged nape and caressed the covered skin with my thumb. I felt him physically shiver and it made me smile against his lips. He smiled back despite the tear stains on his face and the action made my heart ache.

I broke the kiss and leaned my forehead against his, his lips still trailing after mine. "Someone's desperate."

Jungkook blushed and thanks to his pale skin it made it way easier to see the soft red dust on his cheeks. I was about to lean into another kiss but froze when I heard a knock on the door and someone clear their throat.

I looked up and locked eyes with Sejin, who didn't look amused. Jungkook didn't bother to check who it was and instead curled himself into the bedsheets and hid his head in the pillow. I wanted to smile because he looked adorable and small but this wasn't the time, not anymore. Sejin motioned for me to come out to the hall and I nodded in response. I climbed out of the bed, making sure to run a hand through Jungkook's matted hair, before leaving the room.

"Close the door," Sejin said.

I closed the door, that same sinking sensation from earlier starting to form in my stomach. "What's wrong?" I asked even though I didn't really want to know.

Sejin folded his arms across his chest and an unknown emotion seemed to fill the creases in his forehead.

"What is it?" I asked again and for some reason I felt like throwing up from anxiety.

Sejin sighed and clapped a hand on my shoulder, "Jungkook might not be able to go home."

(guys I'm so so so sorry for literally taking a month to update this story! I've been so busy with school and I apologize!

Apologies aside, I've also been thinking about posting my stories on AO3 as well as on Wattpad, what do you guys think?)