Endgame (Book 3)

Chapter 40

Completely ignoring the commotion downstairs, I sat and stared across the room at my window. It has been fixed by now. But I wasn't here for it.

And I wouldn't be here for anything else, either.

I could feel myself numbing, rejecting the emotions trying to fight for control in my mind. Anger, bewilderment, sadness, and fear. I'd felt a lot of those lately.

I didn't even know what I wanted to do with my life. College still seemed miles away, though I had been looking into a few. I had to. My future was supposed to stretch out in front of me. The infinite possibilities, the excitement of life, should have been waiting at my fingertips.

And now, I would never get to experience it. Or getting married, having kids, growing old with...whomever. I would just be the dead kid that saved everyone by sacrificing himself.

That would be enough. It would have to be.

I couldn't allow myself to fall apart.  Not now that I had a job to do. I was sixteen, yes, but not in my mind. I was technically, mentally, an adult. It was time for me to make the decision an adult had to bear.

I took three deep, slow breaths. Closed my eyes. Didn't think.

I allowed the sounds below to melt away. I focused my hearing and confined it only to my room. It was peaceful.

I couldn't sit here for too long; that would be counterproductive. Too much empty silence would just cause me to feel worse.

Before realizing I was doing it, I was up and had my hand on the doorknob. One flex of my wrist and I would open the door.

What stopped me?

The answer was a single tear that had made its way down my left cheek. It has escaped without my knowing.

I wiped it away and looked at the glistening liquid on my index finger, staring for just a moment.

That tear wasn't mine.

A quick shock of electricity fried the saltwater where it was, and I thrust open the door with a surge of emotional strength.

Working my way back down the stairs, I examined the scene below me. Ben and Ashley were conversing silently near the door, while everyone else was still arguing with Jeremiah. Sage still rested on the couch; something must have been wrong with her.

I wanted to take her to the hospital, but the last time I was there...no. Even if I could take her somewhere away from the city, my experience, with more thought, had caused a fear of the places to take residence in my mind. I wouldn't advise anyone related to me to go to one. They were bad luck.

I decided to leave her there unless her condition worsened somehow. For now, I needed to get everyone's attention.

With a flick of my hand, electricity moved out of my hand and darted around the handrail on the stairs and my mother to connect with Jeremiah's metal belt buckle. Once it had reached him, I pulled up and threw my hand forward.

Jeremiah's body jerked into the air and moved toward the door in response. Leaving him hovering for a moment, considering my next words, I dropped him there.

Everyone's heads popped up. I addressed Jeremiah first.

"Leave. Now."

I knew the only reason that had worked was because I had taken him by surprise, but a strange combination of guilt and fear caused him to do as I had said. He slowly fixed his belt- I had disturbed its place when I moved him- while his eyes remained fixed on me. Then, looking down, he muttered a sorry apology and left.

As I had not yet gone all the way down the stairs, it suddenly hit me that I was literally above my family, Ben and Ashley, and Cassie. To show a little respect and that I had noticed, I sat down on the stair behind me.

I sighed. Jeremiah's exit had left the room quiet. I could see Mom and Dad give each other knowing looks.

"I have three days to prepare for Zero," I said, thinking as I spoke. I let the implied meaning settle in for a moment. "And then I will face him. Alone."

Cassie and Ben shook their heads at me. They refused to let me fight alone. And I knew Sage, if she was awake, would say the same thing.

That was okay. It didn't matter.

"But in the meantime," I continued, "yeah, you should probably help me out." I grinned, throwing my hands out to briefly try to convey to them the hopelessness of my situation.

I wasn't trying to lighten the mood, but I had to show them I was keeping my cool given the circumstances. Otherwise, this wouldn't work.

Ben was the only one to laugh at that, and Ashley nudged him in the ribs. Cassie gave me a grim look. Mom and Dad moved to hug me, but I stopped them with a hand.

I didn't need that. I would surely burst into tears.

"Ben and Ashley, you two can stay here until we get that whole situation sorted out with the facility," I said, looking at Mom to continue for me.

"Oh, yes," she said, picking up my intent. "We have a room for you, Ashley, but Ben will have to sleep with Jay."

I grimaced. That would be a problem.

Cassie cocked her head to the side as if she was listening to something no one else could hear. I quickly switched topics in my head.

"Dad, you can show Ben my room."

"Of course- that is unless he's already been in there without us knowing that either," he said, being hostile to no one in particular since Jeremiah was gone.

I moved to the side so he, Mom, Ben, and Ashley could leave. That just left Cassie.

"You can go home, you know," I said, trying not to sound cold.

"Yeah, but-" she moved as she talked so that she could sit beside me on the stair- "I would much rather make sure you're okay. It's not like you've been gone for a while or anything, with no way for me to contact you or know you were alright."

I almost laughed at her sarcasm, but then I remembered and only a sad smile made its way across my lips. I ignored everything that normally caused me to be infatuated with her closeness.

"Jay, let's go to the roof."

She looked at me seriously. I avoided her eyes.

She looked guilty. I tried to look ignorant.

This was it.