World's Apart

A Mother's Words

The car ride had been slow. As he stared out of the window, all he could hear was Erica's voice ringing in his ears. I'm pregnant Jack, it's yours. Then he'd ran from her like a coward, he'd left her back there all alone. For the entire journey his mind ran over the situation a hundred thousand times. Each time he felt more guilty about it. He felt guilty that he had betrayed Ali's love. He felt guilty that Erica loved him and he not her. He felt guilty that she would now have a baby out of wedlock and be known as a tart for it. He also felt somewhat guilty for this child, it would be born into this terrible world- of a broken family and a country at war.

Jack lifted his head from resting on the window. He palmed at his temple, all of this thinking was going to give him a headache. They had arrived now and as the truck slowed at his destination Jack gave a big sigh before opening the door and making his way up the familiar pathway.

He turned and waved as the truck drove away before knocking on the wooden door. He stepped off the step and waited. He could hear rustling inside the house and knew somebody was coming to the door. Suddenly it swung open. It was Mrs Dawes.

"Jack Collins," she regards him flatly.

"Mrs Dawes," Jack tries to smile. An awkward silence befalls them as he waits sheepishly outside the house "May I come in?" He asks breaking the silence.

Mrs Dawes opens the door wider "I suppose you better," 

He steps inside the house and closes the door behind him. He follows Mrs Dawes into the kitchen and takes a seat at the table.

"Tea?" Mrs Dawes asks.

"Please," Jack nods as he looks about the room. The house is quiet today.

"She's not here if that's who you're looking for," Mrs Dawes says as she pours tea from the teapot into a cup.

Jack's face falls but he nods "Where is she?"

Mrs Dawes places the teapot on the counter before joining Jack at the table "She's gone away Jack. After what you did to her, she said there was nothing left for her here. She's been gone over a month now," 

Jack rakes a hand through his hair and leans his elbow heavily on the table. He can feel tears threatening to fall, the familiar sting is there, but he holds them back. 

"I hate myself everyday for what I've done," Jack's voice has a thickness to it as sadness creeps in.

"So do I," Mrs Dawes sips at her tea.

Jack looks at her sadly. Her words are harsh but true.

"I hate what you did Jack. Not you," She clarifies.

"Why did you do it?" She asks.

Jack shakes his head "I don't know. I know that's a pathetic answer but I truly don't. I was leaving the party, I was on my way out when I bumped into her. I'd been miserable all night thinking of Ali and wishing she was with me. I was drunk and I know that's not an excuse but I don't know...I don't know," he rests his head in his hands and exhales deeply.

Mrs Dawes regards the man in front of her, the man who shattered her daughters life. She wanted to hate him, to shout at him, but no feelings of hate come to her. Instead she reaches out and places a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"We all make mistakes Jack," 

Jack lifts his head up and looks into her eyes "Do you think Ali will ever forgive me?"

Mrs Dawes purses her lips "She's hurting right now, but nobody can carry that much pain and anger with them forever. You need to give her time,"

Jack lifts up his cup and takes a few sips of his tea. The liquid is warm and sweet and for a moment he is transported to a time when there were no worries or issues. Alas, here he is.

"Mrs Dawes can I ask you something?"

"Yes,"

Jack sighs, rubbing slow circles over his closed eyes "She's pregnant, the girl. She told me this morning,"

He hears the sharp intake of breath from Mrs Dawes and the sick twisting feeling returns to his stomach.

"What did you say to her?" She asks.

"I didn't say anything. I sort of ran away," he replies, embarrassed.

"You ran away?" Mrs Dawes makes a face.

"I don't want this-"

"Maybe not, but she didn't get pregnant by herself did she. Why should she have to face this alone?" 

Jack clenches his hands into a fist and lightly bounces it against his knee in agitation.

"But I want Ali back, that's all I've ever wanted. Tell me what I should do," Jack cries.

Mrs Dawes takes his hand in hers and looks him in the eye "You need to go back to London and find that girl. You need to tell her that, yes it was an accident, but you're going to be there for her and you're going to love this child," she says with sadness in her eyes "And you're going to give her this,"

Mrs Dawes stands up and makes her way over to the windowsill where she opens a small wooden box and pulls out a folded white handkerchief. She sits back at the table and slides the fabric over to Jack.

He takes it from her and unfold it. Inside is his grandmothers engagement ring. His heart sinks as he realises what this means.

"She left it here before she left," Mrs Dawes explains "I think her leaving was a way of starting over. Away from all the memories here that she made with you," 

Jack nods sadly and folds the ring back in the handkerchief before tucking it into the inside of his jacket. He stands and clears his throat, fighting to keep the sadness from showing in his voice.

"Thank you for everything," he says.

Mrs Dawes follows him to the front door where they stand for several long moments.

"They're sending me to France," Jack says, his voice void of emotion "That's why I came here today. I thought she might hear me out if she knew there was a chance I might not come back,"

Mrs Dawes face falls and her eyes gloss over as tears gather. She reaches out and pulls him close to her, embracing him. "You take care of yourself out there, you hear me?" 

Jack pulls away nodding "I will," his voice cracks.

He turns and starts to walk down the path when Mrs Dawes calls after him. "Jack wait!"

He turns and see's her fiddling with something on the side table before rushing towards him with a piece of paper.

"This is where you'll find her," 

Jack takes the slip of paper from her and smiles "Thank you," he tips his head towards her as she walks back up the path and inside the house, closing the door behind her.

Jack opens the gate and walks down the country lane. He opens the slip of paper, his eyes widen at the address. He tucks it safely into his inside pocket before plunging his hands deep into his trouser pockets and walking up the familiar country lane. As he walked, his mind whirled over everything Mrs Dawes had said. He thought about Ali and he thought about Erica. He had to make a choice. 

A choice between his head and his heart. About what was right and what he wanted.

A/N: Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments, they make me laugh and I'm so happy to hear so many of you enjoy the story. Please keep voting up, reading and commenting...it's great to get the feedback! Hope you enjoyed the chapter!! Ahhhh a baby, what should Jack do???  :0