letters to felix

seven- lydia

dear felix

today was my first day at rehab camp.

there was an awful lot of:

self-pity

patronizing

crappy snacks

awful 'inspirational' talks.

i swear i have never hated my mother and her 'get better' plans more.

there were about fifteen people there. ten were about my age. the other five were about twelve. hah. what've you done, murdered your beanie babies?

i'm sorry.

there were also many 'get to know each other' games.

i lied through them all.

there are a few people that actually enjoy this. one is named ross. he has a drug problem. they've got him on laughing gas to keep him 'quiet'. that might explain why he likes it so much.

the other two are twins. marla and margo. they have this thing where they both have vivid, shared hallucinations.

scary.

they keep asking me to sit with them at lunch. i turned them down. honestly (heh) they scare me.

at lunch i sit with two people who really hate it too. social rejects, just like me. one is named park. he has severe obsessive-compulsive disorder and keeps rearranging my food. the other is named nicky. she's nice enough, when she isn't pulling her hair out. literally.

she has adhd, but she was addicted to the meds, so they took her off. that made it worse. modern medicine, huh?

she has this jacket with pins that she takes on and off.

on

and

off.

there is no need to lie to them, as we have only exchanged five words so far.