One Big Joke: The Joker Origins

Chapter 7 - Worth

The bleeding finally stopped.

Jackie sat, legs sprawled out, against an alleyway wall a few blocks away from the underground casino. The rose red balaclava sat awkwardly on his lap. Rain poured from the sinister grey clouds which stood out against the blackened sky.

Jackie didn’t bother covering his head from the rain; he knew his curls were ruined. Huge, wet rats had appeared from around the garbage cans and scuttled along the wall opposite. Jackie could see them, one after another; their home disturbed by the security men not too long ago. Jackie wasn’t awake to see it, but he could just make out their babble and laughter as to how they had dealt with “the cheating low life.” One guy must have shown his colleague exactly how he punched Jackie; his fist left a dented imprint on the side of a lopsided trash can.

Jackie went over a mental loop as he watched the rats jump over each other and scuttle further down the alley.

No job.

No money.

No plans.

How did this happen? Why did this happen to me?

Jenny…

The cold began to bite at Jackie’s fingers. Summoning what was left of his strength, and dignity, he slowly pulled his slime covered overcoat from the corner of a huge dumpster and covered himself to keep himself warm.

Rainwater seeped into Jackie’s clothes, but he didn’t care. He was in a financial mess with no idea how to get out; not forgetting that he was flat broke and still had gambling debts to pay.

A flurry of emotions engulfed his heart; rage, bitterness, even hatred.

Jenny’s face materialised in his mind, along with the fiery sensation which crept up at the back of his neck again. The fire seemed to intensify as Jenny’s face took shape. The sight of Jenny’s face awoke a feeling that Jackie had supressed a long time ago; resentment.

I know I messed up, but I deserve better than this! Jackie thought. I work hard to provide and I’m trying my very best to sort this out and this is what I get? You ungrateful piece of crap!

Jenny’s face glanced towards him, and gave him a look as if he was nothing; a drenched poor useless rat who belonged right where he stood, in the gutter.

“What; you? You’re nothing to me! You deserve nothing! I regret the very day I met you!” retorted Jenny’s face, in Jackie’s voice.

Next, Mason’s face appeared, wearing the smug look that Jackie despised, followed with the face of Mr Crawlings.

“Bet you wished you were me right?” asked Mason, again in Jackie’s voice.

“Don’t worry about that idiot!” Spat the floating head of Mr Crawlings, in his own familiar voice. “He’s a failure and he isn’t worth anything!”

Jackie scrambled to his feet, ready to approach the trio of floating heads.

“You shut your mouths you-”

The trio of heads flew towards him and grew bigger in size and screamed in out in unison. “FAILURE!”

This startled Jackie, who jumped backwards and huddled next to the wall, like a prisoner attempting to hide from his overseer.

“You are a failure! You’re worth nothing!” they chanted altogether.

“Wait, I didn’t mean to-”

“You are a failure! You’re worth nothing!”

They floated closer and closer towards Jackie, who pushed himself closer and closer to the wall. They spun around his head. Everywhere he looked, he could see the faces spinning faster and faster. There was no escape from the heads, or from their ghostly chant.

“Is it because of the gambling? Jackie pleaded. It’s only ‘cause I-”

“You are a failure! You’re worth nothing!”

 “Shut up! You have no idea-”

“YOU’RE A FAILURE! YOU’RE WORTH NOTHING!” they screamed at the top of their voices.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Jackie bellowed.

The apparitions disappeared within a gust of wind. The echo of Jackie’s voice lifted towards the miserable skies; the rain pitter-pattered against nearby puddles.

Jackie discovered that he was not by the alley wall, but in the centre of the alley, lying in a foetal position. He clutched at his coat, a poor attempt to stop him from shivering.

Then it hit him like a sucker punch to the gut. The pain was unbearable; the emotional guards Jackie had put up many years ago crumbled and fell apart under the heavy weight of reality. Boulders of tears formed under his eyes and fell down the side of Jackie’s head, over his bruised nose, and joined the wet floor. Jackie’s mind absorbed the apparent truth as he cried bitterly onto the concrete floor.

I am a failure.

 I am worth nothing.