Chapter 20 - A Goldfish?

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I slam the door to the apartment open, dragging my suitcase after me clumsily. The bang hurts my head more than I would like it too but I only smack it shut again as if trying to prove a point. Fern hears the ruckus and comes around the corner.

"Hey there, Zombie," she teases, taking the luggage from me. Ironically enough, I only respond with a grunt and walk into the living room as Fern hollers, "Oh, by the way, I bought a goldfish!"

With furrowed brows I look around the room and sure enough, a big fish tank is planted smack dab in the middle of the coffee table by the couch.

Fern strolls over to it and crouches down to look at her new fish through the glass. "I named him Fish."

"You bought a fucking goldfish?" I question annoyedly.

"Yeah! He was 5.49 at PetSmart."

An unexplainable anger washes through me. "You bought a fucking goldfish?!" I yell. Fern's eyes snap away from the damn fish and towards me, confusion lacing her features.

"What's the matter?" she inquires of me, crossing her arms defensively.

"What's the matter?!" I take daring steps toward my roommate. "I live here too, Fern! You have to ask me before you get pets!"

"It's a goldfish, B. Not a puppy-"

"I didn't sign up to take care of that stupid thing! Do you ever think of me when you do things? Huh?"

"You don't have to take care of anything-"

"Yes, I will! Because you'll leave and forget about the fucking fish and I'll have to feed it and clean the tank while you go and fuck your girlfriend! I'm gonna be stuck here because you can't take care of anything!" My voice almost echoes off the walls, I am shouting so loud. Fern has taken a step back and looks almost scared. The room is eerily quiet.

"B, are you okay?" Fern timidly pipes up after a moment, holding up her hands in defense as if I am going to hit her any second.

The rage seeps out and I collapse down in the recliner in front of the fish tank. "Fuck," I mutter, hiding my face in my hands and exhaling heavily. "I didn't mean that. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I feel Fern sit down on the arm rest and put a hand on my shoulder. "I take the meeting with the parents didn't go so well."

"Horrible."

"Are they snobs?"

"Yeah."

"Figured as much."

"Dean's not a snob!" I whine and remove my hands.

"For being one, he is pretty cool..."

I just groan.

"You wanna talk about it?" Fern puts an arm around my shoulders and squeezes me tight. "How about you be my muse, yeah?"

I nod and Fern goes to grab her paint stuff. With a sigh, I plop down on the so-called chair of inspiration. She adjusts my position and smiles.

"Did you know I chose you to be my roommate, not only because you were the only one willing to move in with me, but because you have features that I love to paint?"

A smile tickles my features. "Gee, thanks."

She strolls over to the canvas and sits down. "Yeah, no problem. Now sit still. You really suck at that." The brushes rattle in the cup Fern has them in as she reaches for one. "So, spill. I'm all ears," she says and it's like she pushes a button. The restraint snaps and I ramble on about everything. From meeting Dean's parents to kissing Adam in our hallway to the first time I ever saw him. I tell my regrets and then reason as to why it was all worth it. I vent about getting drunk all alone in a parking lot and getting the call from Ashley and then calling Adam. I explain how great it felt to be with him and that I'm afraid I won't find anyone like him. But then I also have to say that I am scared to death of losing Ashley, and I don't want to choose – even though it's getting way too late to do anything about anything now.

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