There Was You

CHAPTER 5 : (SIRF) ANNIKA

•AGAIN•

"Rudra, I'm keeping the phone down. Mera bohaut kaam hai! I've to get Sahil's medicines and reports, as he's coming day after from school. I'm already confused and frustrated as to what to tell him. Matlab woh bhi ek sawaal ki dhukaan hai! Zaroor woh uske baare mein, aur Ghar ke baare mein poochega! Aur woh mere ko leke pareshaan ho jayega! Aur woh bheemar pad jayega! Main Kya karoon! Usko kaise sambhaloon, mujhe kuch nahi pata!"

"Bhojaaiyee, saanth ho Jaye, pleej."

"How, Gauri? I don't know what to do!"

"Bhabhi," Rudra's image looked at me from the screen in the eye. "Aap, Tension Math lo. We'll deal with Sahil when he comes. One strike at a time, Bhabhi, Remember?"

"Haan, Haan, bhojaaiyee. Hum sammalenge. Ab paresaan math hoiye!" Gauri consoled me as well.

I plastered a fake smile for them on to my face.

Beneath my facade were worries, sorrow and frustration.

My mind was running like that bhandha, Usain, over possible reactions that Sahil would have.

It was a perfect butter on top of the burnt aloo poori that was my life. Completely messed up.

I don't know who I am anymore.

I have broken down to a thousand more prices than what Chandni broke into.

I am stuck in a Akshay Patram full of Raita and I don't know what to do!!

And that question tearing my heart apart...

In the end, Mera Shivaay never trusted me. Bharosa, nahi tha usko mujhpe. Even if there was, not enough to save our love.

And I'm angry with him for that.

That akdu Kanji Aankon Wala Bhagad Billa! Kitna Ajeeb bandha hai woh! He promised me that he trusted me but obviously, trust is only skin deep.

That demon of Naam, Khoon aur Khandhaan will never stop following me, apparently. First my clap worthy childhood, then my marriage! Wah!

"Bhojaaiyee, bhojaaiyee! Aap Kahan koiye hua ho?" She shook her bangled hand in front of the screen to jostle me up from my Rajdhani Express of thoughts.

"Kuch nahi. Achha, I'm keeping the phone-"

"No! Bhabhi, I wanna talk for some more time to you!" Rudra whined.

"Rakh Rahi Hoon, Rudra! Bye!" I said and cut off the call, leaving Gauri to handle his tantrum.

I underestimated the warnings Om and Shivaay had given me about him. But I know beneath all that  inmaturity, Rudra is a real gem of a boy and I love him as my own little brother. No difference between him and Sahil for me.

For, Omkara on the other hand, it works amazingly well that he fills up the void of the Grandfather of the family.

Seriously, never understood a word he says when he gets into that 'zone', which is almost all the time.

(Shivaay chaalu cheez hai! He just pretends as though he understood it all. Kuch bhi!)

"Hold on, Annika," I stopped myself. "You've been thinking too much about that bandha today. Abhi nahi. Take a break, vapas aane ke bhaadh Rona dhona phir shuru! Now you're getting late for the hospital. Start your Champa right away!"

*****

As I walked into the lift, back from the doctor's cabin my mind was once again racing with thoughts.